Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Changes will Begin in 2010!!

New Year resolutions are easier to set then to accomplish. I’m looking to make goals or changes in my life that will lead to a better happier me. Everyone could stand to make some changes as long as they are for the better. Insanity – doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results… I’m going into the new year wanting different results than I’ve been receiving which means I need to change some things up while at the same time being true to myself!! Sounds difficult? Not really, considering I usually try to do what others want instead of what I want. I’ve tried to place others before me which have caused issues but my heart was in the right place, most of the time. I won’t say I haven’t made mistakes; none of us are without faults or imperfections. Some of us try harder than others to fix what we have done to cause others pain. I digress…

I need to get out more, to see this country of ours – spread my wings a little. Walls can be so suffocating. Where will I go? I’ve wanted to see Niagara Falls since I was a little girl which may sound shocking to some since I’m HIGHLY afraid of water!! I can see it from a distance right? New York has always grabbed me too! The hustle and bustle of the city seems so exciting! Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been to Germany several times because our Dad was in the military, but I was too young then to enjoy where we were. (Oktoberfest at this age?? BANANAS!!)

This time of year we begin to look back over how things were for us during the year and question ourselves as to what could’ve been different or better. The Shoulda/Woulda/Coulda’s set in and we wonder how things would’ve turned out if this were done or if I would’ve done this… Why do we do that to ourselves? They say history repeats itself… It can but ONLY IF all the variables are unchanged! My history makes me who I am today, but I have a say so on how to react to my future. My future is bright and so is yours!! I don’t know about y’all, but I’m goin’ in on 2010!! Love you all and HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIG BRO!! :0)

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

The Holidays

This time of year means so many things to so many people. For some, it is a glorious time filled with cheer, loved ones close by and presents for all those around. For others it means sadness, reminders of things they can’t afford, or maybe even death in the family. Regardless of which way is your way, please be thankful for what u DO have and try hard NOT to focus on what u don’t. Many of us have had some rough things happen to us this year, but we are still here and that in itself is a blessing. Try to go into 2010 with a new outlook – something new to focus on or to be driven towards. Not a “New Year Resolution” – those things are over rated. Try to make a difference in either your life or someone else’s for the better and see how different 2010 turns out from 2009. Nothing bad can come from being positive! Never allow someone to attempt to change the person you know you are!

Happy Holidays to you and yours!

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Clean Slate

When is the right time to move on? Is there a time frame given to know when you are over someone or when that person is over you? I think you should allow yourself ENOUGH time, whatever timeframe that is… I’m sure the amount varies from person to person, situation to situation… There should also be time added for you to get yourself where you need to be, whether it be emotionally, physically, financially PRIOR to bringing someone else into your life. The new person doesn’t deserve to begin something with you with all of the added baggage from your previous relationship dumped onto them. It’s not fair to you and it’s certainly not fair to the new person. They are the innocent party and should begin with you with a clean slate, not one dirtied, muddied, and stained from the person before them…

Monday, December 07, 2009

LITTLE White Lies??

I had a talk with one of my close friends this morning and we were discussing if “white lies” truly exist or if it was called that by people who lie so much that there are different sizes and colors of lies… lol I won’t tell you that I’ve never told a lie or two, but after some things have happened to me, I decided to make every effort to tell the truth since then. People who are close to me say that I can be brutally honest, but wouldn’t you rather me tell you the truth on things or lie to your face and have you believe something different? Of course you probably wouldn’t know the difference, but I DO and that is what is important to me.

Of course there are times where it is easier to tell someone a lie to spare their feelings, but I feel that a TRUE FRIEND would tell you the truth whether it hurt you or not! It’s not easy to be in that predicament but I have been there and I have hurt feelings AND have had my feelings hurt as well. I tell you what though; the people who I have experienced that with are STILL my friends to this day and will be around for me and me for them.

Problems arise when the person who is doing the lie either gets caught by you or some other way. Doubt sets in on the one who is being lied to and then they fail to believe any and every thing that person has to say from then on. That is a horrible situation to be in ESPECIALLY if the person is a spouse or significant other. What happens then? How do you move on from there? Sometimes, depending on the situation, you are unable to be deal with what has happened and the best thing is to move on. There are things that are more easily forgivable then others and it depends on the person and what they are able to deal with and what they aren’t. It’s definitely easier to be on the outside of a situation looking in, but when you are the brunt of someone’s deception, who knows what you will do unless it’s YOU who are who being pushed into the corner.

Friday, December 04, 2009


Do you ever have random questions that really don’t need answers but it would be nice to have some different perspectives on them? (I guess I started this off with a question didn’t I.. Funny how things work…)

I wonder what is up with people coming out of the wood work after awhile… Where have then been and why come back up at all? Is forgetting about people and not talking to them, does that really show them how much you mean to them? Do they really realize that they miss you and want you in their lives? Why not realize that while you are there instead of while you are not?

Do other people’s perspectives matter to you? And if not, then why not? I’m the type of person who could really give less than a damn what people think of me. I am who I am and that’s it and I don’t make any excuses for who I am and for the most part I’m happy with who I have become. Now of course, there are some areas physically that I would LOVE to change and even that right now can’t be dealt with so I have to roll with what I have and that’s that… My Mom has instilled in me to love myself whether someone else does or not. I have forgotten that a couple of times in my life and have placed many people’s importance ahead of mine and that hasn’t gotten me too far, but I’ve learned from my mistakes and I know to not do that again… A part of me wonders why that is really wrong though… Aren’t we supposed to treat others how we want to be treated?? But I guess that doesn’t always work or am I not understanding or seeing something that is plainly in the front of me??

Although I said that I don't really care how people think of me, there are CERTAIN chosen FEW who their views DO matter... These people's opinions may change how I see things which concern me... Should it bother me? Should I let their views change my outlook, my view, my decisions?? Why is it that you allow yourself to care when it's so obvious when other's don't?

This world we live in is a crazy place and we are only here for an unknown amount of time; however the time we have here determines our time elsewhere...

Monday, November 30, 2009

Injury Update II

I’m out of the wheelchair and off the crutches! YESSSS!! I won’t tell you that I’m not still in pain but I’m doing what I can to get healed up! Time waits for no man (or woman) so I have to get it crack’n! It’s still awkward walking though… The heel is still in the boot which makes things weird but oh well! Gotta make it work! I return to the doctor on December 21st and will, at that point, be in two shoes (what a Christmas present)and begin rehab which I KNOW will be difficult! Nothing we want or that is worth having is easy – so I say - onward and upward!! The “warm up exercise” hurts like a you-know-what and if that’s any indication of what is to come then I’m preparing myself now! Thank you all for the continued thoughts and prayers! I still need them!!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Madea’s Thanksgiving Dinner Rules

Thank you for this Stephanie! Have a restful Thanksgiving everyone!!

1. Don't get in line asking questions about the food. "Who made the potato salad? Is it egg in there? Are the greens fresh? Is the meat in the greens turkey or pork? Who made the macaroni and cheese? What kind of pie is that? Who made it? Ask one more question and I will punch you in your mouth, knocking out all your fronts so you won't be able to eat anything.

2. If you can't walk or are missing any limbs, sit your a** down until someone makes your plate for you. Dinner time is not the time for you to be independent. Nibble on them da*n pecans and walnuts to hold you over until someone makes you a plate.

3. If you have kids under the age of twelve, I will escort the little moochers to the basement and bring their food down to them. They are not gonna tear my da** house up this year. Tell them that they are not allowed upstairs until it's time for Uncle Butchie to start telling family stories about their mommas and papas. If they come upstairs for any reason except for that they are bleeding to death, I will break a foot off in their a**es!

4. There is going to be one prayer for Thanksgiving dinner! JUST ONE! We do not care that you are thankful that your 13 year old daughter gave birth to a healthy baby or your nephew just got out of jail. Save that talk for somebody who gives a da**. The time limit for the prayer is one minute. If you are still talking after that one minute is up, you will feel something hard come across your lips and they will be swollen for approximately 20 minutes.

5. Finish everything on your plate before you go up for seconds! If you don't, you will be cursed out and asked to stay your greedy a** home next year!

6. BRING YOUR OWN TUPPERWARE!! Don't let me catch you fixing yourself a plate in my good Tupperware knowing da** well that I will never see it again! Furthermore, if you didn't bring anything over, don't let me catch you making a plate period or there will be a “misunderstanding”.

7. What you came with is what you should leave with!! Do not leave my house with anything that doesn't belong to you. EVERYBODY WILL BE SUBJECTED TO A BODY SEARCH COMING IN AND LEAVING MY PROPERTY!!!

8. Do not leave your kids so you can go hopping from house to house. This is NOT a DAYCARE CENTER! There will be a kid-parent roll call every ten minutes. Any parent that is not present at the time of roll call, your child will be put outside until you come and get him or her. After 24 hours, I will call DSS on your ignorant a**!!

9. BOOK YOUR HOTEL ROOM BEFORE YOU COME INTO TOWN!! There will be no sleeping over at my house! You are to come and eat dinner and take your a** home or to your hotel room. EVERYBODY GETS THE HELL OUT AT 11:00 pm. You will get a 15 minute warning bell ring.

10. Last but not least! ONE PLATE PER PERSON!!! This is not a soup kitchen. I am not trying to feed your family until Christmas dinner! You will be supervised when you fix your plate. Anything over the appropriate amount will be charged to you before you leave. There will be a cash register at the door. Thanks to Cousin Alfred and his greedy a** family, we now have a credit card machine! So VISA and MASTERCARD are now being accepted. NO FOOD STAMPS OR ACCESS CARDS YET!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Single Mother Jailed for Refusing Deployment

From AP Associated Press -
By RUSS BYNUM, AP Military Writer Russ Bynum, Ap Military Writer – Mon Nov 16, 9:32 pm ET, SAVANNAH, Ga. – An Army cook and single mom may face criminal charges after she skipped her deployment flight to Afghanistan because, she said, no one was available to care for her infant son while she was overseas.

Spc. Alexis Hutchinson, 21, claims she had no choice but to refuse deployment orders because the only family she had to care for her 10-month-old son — her mother — was overwhelmed by the task, already caring for three other relatives with health problems.

Her civilian attorney, Rai Sue Sussman, said Monday that one of Hutchinson's superiors told her she would have to deploy anyway and place the child in foster care.

"For her it was like, 'I couldn't abandon my child,'" Sussman said. "She was really afraid of what would happen, that if she showed up they would send her to Afghanistan anyway and put her son with child protective services."

Hutchinson, who is from Oakland, Calif., remained confined Monday to the boundaries of Hunter Army Airfield in Savannah, 10 days after military police arrested her for skipping her unit's flight. No charges have been filed, but a spokesman for the Army post said commanders were investigating.

Kevin Larson, a spokesman for Hunter Army Airfield, said he didn't know what Hutchinson was told by her commanders, but he said the Army would not deploy a single parent who had nobody to care for his or her child.

"I don't know what transpired and the investigation will get to the bottom of it," Larson said. "If she would have come to the deployment terminal with her child, there's no question she would not have been deployed."

Hutchinson's son, Kamani, was placed into custody overnight with a daycare provider on the Army post after she was arrested and jailed briefly, Larson said. Hutchinson's mother picked up the child a week ago and took him back to her home in California.

Hutchinson, who's assigned to the 3rd Combat Aviation Brigade of the Army's 3rd Infantry Division, joined the Army in 2007 and had no previous deployments, Sussman said. She said Hutchinson is no longer in a relationship with the father.

The Army requires all single-parent soldiers to submit a care plan for dependent children before they can deploy to a combat zone.

Hutchinson had such a plan — her mother, Angelique Hughes, had agreed to care for the boy. Hughes said Monday she kept the boy for about two weeks in October before deciding she couldn't keep him for a full year.

Hughes said she's already having to care for her ailing mother and sister, as well as a daughter with special needs. She also runs a daycare center at her home, keeping about 14 children during the day.

"This is an infant, and they require 24-hour care," Hughes said. "It was very, very stressful, just too much for me to deal with."

Hughes said she returned Kamani to his mother in Georgia a few days before her scheduled deployment Nov. 5.

She said they told her daughter's commanders they needed more time to find another family member or close friend to help Hughes care for the boy, but Hutchinson was ordered to deploy on schedule.

Larson, the Army post spokesman, said officials planned to keep Hutchinson in Georgia as investigators gathered facts about the case.

"Spc. Hutchinson's deployment is halted," Larson said. "There will be no deployment while this situation is ongoing."

Does this bother anyone else? I mean I know she HAD to know that it was highly likely that she would be sent on a tour (why do they call it a tour anyway?? There is no site seeing or enjoyment taking place...) to Afghanistan or somewhere like that PRIOR to enlisting, but to place the child in foster care just bothers me! I mean, is there NO ONE in the child's family, either on the father's side OR the mother's side who could take responsibility for this child? I know her intentions were probably good for joining the military in the first place: money, job security, insurance, stability, etc but to STILL send this "single mother" to jail?? Man... I know, she should have appeared at the site instead of pulling an AWOL (absent without leave) type of situation but I understand why she did... Later in the article it stated that if she would have appeared WITH her child, then they "... would not deploy a single parent with NO ONE to care for the child..." However that is not what she was told.

Also, it says that she doesn't have any relationship with the father... Well, what about the rest of his family? Just because the father doesn't take responsibility for his child excuses the rest of the family? What is up with that? That is something that is rampant with single parents and their children. The absent parent doesn't do what they are supposed to do then the family of the absent parent usually (not always) takes the same road as they do... I don't get it!

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Genre of Movies

Is it weird that I don't like "chick flicks"? I ask that because my youngest and I were watching a Disney movie and a commercial came on and I said, "Well, that's probably another movie I won't watch.." She asked me why and I told her that I just don't like movies that make me cry. I cry enough on real life issues that I prefer to not watch a movie that would pull that emotion out of me... Does that explain why my favorite genre of movie is horror? No... I hate being scared but since the things that occur in those films is highly unlikely, then I can bare to sit through them for an hour and a half... Pitiful? Probably, but I doubt a man can really live through being: burned, decapitated, hung, electrocuted, stabbed, diced into pieces and some of the other things that have happened to both Micheal Myers and Jason... So sue me... No chick flicks here please!! lol

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Injury Update!!

People have been reading the blog and calling a sistah to check on me and for that I send out my gratitude!!

I went to the doctor yesterday and he removed my stitches - 9 of 'em! (My neice wanted to know how many I had. That's for you Asia!) I thought it would hurt alot worse than it did but it was a slight tug for each one and that was it.. When he took of the splint cast, I tell you, it looks like I have one Olive Oil leg and one Popeye leg! He placed a heel in my walking boot and said that I still can not put any weight on my foot for two more weeks! I have to keep the walking boot on with the heel on the inside until I return to the doctor. He then will lower the heel for two more weeks and so on until it is flat on the inside, THEN rehab begins!!

That cliche' is true "You never know what you got until it's gone." That goes for body parts too! lol... The things that I took for granted before, I never will again! The simple things, like being able to carry a cup of water or a plate of food from one room to another; being able to shower; checking the mail - little things like that which require the use of BOTH legs. I tell you what, be happy with what you can do people!! Some people are looking at you and wishing they were in your shoes...

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

What else do you call it??

I went to the doctor today and had what I consider a "setback"... Minor? Maybe or maybe not, but that is how I have to think of it in order to make it... Apparently this injury has pretty much sat a sistah down.. Physically for who knows how long... I was under the impression that I would be able to be use the walking boot, but that guess was incorrect... I will be unable to use this leg for longer than I expected and it has me worried... I would be lying if I told you I wasn't nervous, scared even... The doctor said that absolutely NO WEIGHT can be placed on this foot at all and if there is, it could harm the area he has worked on and could slow down any progress that could have been made up until this point.. I've made myself sooo nervous on these crutches that I can't even tell you... Man.. Stay encouraged, girl and stay strong!! That's what I keep telling myself... Wow...

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

A HUGE Thank You!!

I know I've been out of pocket for awhile and quite frankly, I guess I needed to be... I thought that being at home, I would write alot and have plenty to say but I guess this medicine knocked a sistah out more than I wanted to be... My mind was sleeping even when I wasn't... (This is some strong stuff!!LOL)

I wanted to say a big "THANK YOU" to all of those who have helped me and my girls while I've been recovering from my achilles rupture injury! (Yes.. It feels just as it sounds!) It's easy to get down and out when bad things happen to you, but when you are surrounded by love, helpfulness and kind people, there is no way you can feel sorry for yourself. So many people helped my girls while I am going from the recliner to the bed with my foot posted high in the air... Yes this sucks, but people came together for me and my girls and for that I am eternally grateful!

I even noticed while paying bills yesterday how nice the world is... So many people held the door for me or assisted me with things as I hobbled around on these crutches that I have yet to use correctly... I'm not supposed to be out anyway, but bills wait for nothing or no one... People jumped out of their cars to help me or held the door or let me go first... Things like that may sound like nothing to you, but the smallest things to some people are HUGE to others and yesterday I needed all the help I could get...

I've also noticed how so many places' handicap accessibility is not what it should be... (You pay attention to things that you normally wouldn't when placed in a situation that causes you too...)

My doctor told me that my recovery/rehab for this injury is "extensive". I can't let that get me down either! He also said that it depends on the individual... I tell you what, I plan on being back on the volleyball court or sand as fast as I can with making every effort possible in order to make that happen! I can't sit here for too much longer without going CRAZY!! I have to get out of this apartment as soon as I can! The walls are closing in on a sistah!! lol

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Sex THAT Important??

(Accidentally deleted this one..Had to repost this..) Is anyone else tired of hearing the stories of famous men cheating on either their famous or not so famous significant others? I mean, it’s everywhere all the time! What is with these men and them not being able to remain faithful to their womenfolk? I’m sure women cheat on their men too, but it’s not as prevalent as these supposed “men”.

Is sex that important to men that they have to get it from everyone, everywhere, all the time? People have the nerve to cheat on someone and then not to even strap up when they are doing the “dirty deed”. On top of that, they bring the nastiness home to the spouse or significant other that they shouldn’t have been cheating on in the first place. Just NASTY!! Then we wonder how diseases spread so fast. Why not leave the one you’re with if you aren’t happy with what they are doing or NOT doing in the bedroom instead of cheating on them? If u aren’t happy with how they put it down then u shouldn’t have married them in the beginning. Is the “Cheaper to Keep Her” view still floating around? I mean, didn’t you know what you were getting into before the wedding? To that question, I’m sure some man will respond that we women change after the wedding happens and you know what – you men do too and not always for the better.

So much emphasis is put on sex and not enough on other important attributes of relationships such as: trust, love, communication, respect, commitment, and passion… What happened to the importance of all of those? Do they not matter anymore?

Monday, October 19, 2009

Dante Wesley's Uncalled for Smash on Sunday...

When things like this happen, people bring up the "brutality" of football. I am all for a good game but this was just down right malicious! What was he thinking? For him to be surprised by being ejected is even more wild to me than the hit... Why is it when people do something that is obviously wrong that they seem put off by the punishment? Never seems to amaze me...

Monday, October 05, 2009


Isn’t one of the worst things in the world being bored? Being bored at your job makes you do things at work that you normally wouldn’t do such as play on Facebook, Yahoo Games (I’m addicted to Bejeweled regardless of what site I can play it on) or whatever site that grabs your attention (Blogger!! lol). Point is it gets you into trouble... A lot of people tell me that they would LOVE my job because it has its highs and lows – busy times and slow times. Unfortunately, I like being busy more than NOT because it keeps my mind off the clock. I’ve had jobs to where there was never enough time in the day to get things done and now I’m at a place where the clock is so loud in my ear that I can hardly stand it!! TICK… TICK… TICK – and that’s just by 9:00 a.m.!!!

Same goes for boredom in relationships. When you are bored, you feel as though your spouse of significant other has forgotten all about you and has gone on with their life while you remain stagnant in yours. You spend all your time wanting and waiting to do things with them, while they have plans with everyone else BUT you!! Meanwhile, bad things can happen in that boredom... Things and people begin grabbing your attention that shouldn’t… Although couples have each other to prevent this, each individual person should have their own life outside of the other person to where some things are shared and some things are just for that person to focus on. It’s just so you don’t lose yourself in the process of enjoying the other person.

Has this happened to any of you? Any ideas to prevent this from happening to others who may be going through this? Of course I’m no stranger to this topic or I wouldn’t be writing about it. I’ve been so wrapped up in someone else that I’ve lost all the people around me. My friends and family noticed at the time, but I’m the only one who could have done something about it. I was sooo into someone that no one mattered to me but him while at the same time he was so busy seeing everyone else BUT me. I completely lost myself and the person that I was because my everything was focused on him. It’s very eye opening to see it now from this perspective… I wonder why I couldn’t see these things before…

Wednesday, September 30, 2009


People ask me all the time if I would go back in time would I change anything. Undoubtedly the answer would be a resounding “YES” just like I’m sure everyone would change SOMETHING. Even one day, one hour, one decision… Something, I’m sure.

Don’t get me wrong, the majority of my life has been hard, but there are several things I would leave exactly as they are – exactly as they happened. My high school years were the best time of my life and would remain unchanged EXCEPT for getting the chicken pox in my sophomore year! Those were horrible!! (I guess it is true that the older you are when you get them the worse they are!) See? I would even change something about those years.

Is it true that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger? If so, I’m damn near She-Hulk!! (Am I showing my age here?!) Although times have been hard, there are people out there who’s situations are a lot worse than mine, just as my situations are worse than someone else’s. Our situations are based largely on decisions that we’ve made for ourselves. Yes, while we are young there are things that happen to us that are out of our control; however when we grow to be adults, those things can either make us or break us and we become responsible for our own decisions. It kills me when people blame their childhood for bad decisions they’ve made as adults. People (generally speaking) know the difference from right and wrong, don’t we??

Monday, September 28, 2009

Problems with Men and Women

Something interesting I heard today, “Men aren’t as strong mentally as men of old. Men today need to be catered to, are selfish and less appreciative than ever before.” Unfortunately, I agree with this entire statement and would you believe that it was made by a man?! The funny thing is that us women knew this the entire time, but it kills me that men agree with us and don’t do anything about it to change the pitiful outlook that some sorry fellas have casted against the whole lot. Okay, okay… Maybe not the whole lot, but it is a large number of ‘em then… Is that better? To tell you the truth I don’t know why I’m surprised in the least. People know when they are making bad decisions; they just don’t care enough to make the right ones instead.

I know you’ve heard the statistic that over 50% of marriages end in divorce. We all know this yet and still we get married knowing the odds are against us… Why? Do we think going into it that we are different than the millions of others who have tried before us? Do we feel our love is somehow stronger or more special than everyone else’s? Or do we just want to feel loved and appreciated by someone? Someone who is saying to God and all others that you are their special someone? Why do we need this? How many times have you heard couples say that things were better BEFORE they were married? What changes after the “I do’s”?

I’m not sure who can answer these questions but it certainly feels better asking them. I know I’m the wrong one to try and solve these dilemmas because I have no answers myself to my own issues and concerns. But if the first paragraph is TRUE then at least we know where we can begin.

“Tiki, here you go ‘men bashing’!” Probably so, maybe I am. I began this post with something I heard by a MAN remember… We women have our own issues. Okay, will it make you feel better if I mention some of them too? Women: cater to their men instead of themselves; expect to be taken care of instead of taking care of themselves, instead of getting a man their equal will settle for ANY man... Of course men and women have many issues, some of which I am guilty of myself… The thing is if you recognize issues in yourself and strive to better yourself, then you are ahead of those who have issues, recognize them and do nothing!

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Potpourri III

Sometimes I just sit down and begin to type and let the monitor/keyboard take me where it leads me. I usually don’t have to think of things to write about… Either the news will show me the way or something in either my life or a friend’s life will direct me. Lately though, I’ve been having issues and I’m not sure if my situation is causing the block or what. (Maybe I should call it a “pause” instead of a “block”; that way it won’t seem as long.)

News has just been news, but the weather has been something else!! (My thoughts go out to those in GA where the flooding has been out of control.) Everyone has been talking about how we have needed rain and now see what happens… A lot of a good thing can also be disastrous regardless of what it is.

Plaxico in jail for 2 years for bringing a weapon to a night club and shooting HIMSELF in the leg... I’ve written about this before but since he is now serving his jail time, it still seems harsh to me... Maybe just a little… Yes, of course I realize that it wasn’t a smart thing to do, but at the same time he didn’t hurt anyone but himself, although drinks and weaponry combined is never a smart thing. He proved that didn’t he??

Racist acts – a daily event in the news… Finally, the swim club in Philly has been penalized for not allowing the day care center which has a majority of black children to swim in their pool. Of all 179 members in their club not one is an African American or even a minority for that matter.

President Obama has been on every channel and show, day or night talking about his health care fight… Continue to fight the good fight, Obama… Whether you agree with him or not, you have to agree with the fact that at LEAST he is trying to look out for the people who are having problems looking after themselves… Nothing at all wrong with that.

See? I never know what road I’m going to go down when I begin the trip. I just know wherever it leads me is where I am…

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Writer's Block

I haven’t had writer’s block in a while and I guess I’m having it now… Even with so much going on in my life at this time, it’s really nothing to write about. I’m not sure it’s information that I would want “outsiders” to know… Not that I’m nervous about being judged, but because although I am quite an open book, I’m not sure I want to be THAT open…

Tiki, we are here for you and to those people who have told me that I say “Thank You”. The only way people can help you with your problems is if you allow them IN to be able help you. Everyone doesn’t need to know the particulars; they just need to know that you need them to listen to you even if it’s just for a few minutes… Everyone needs to feel needed in one way or another whether they truly are needed or not…

I guess I didn’t have writer’s block after all… lol

Friday, September 11, 2009

September 11, 2001

This was written a couple of years ago... Thought it fitting to post here... This day...

Do you remember where you were then? I do, and I'll never forget it for the rest of my days...

I was sitting at work at Austin Community College at the front desk across from the Student Lounge. It has since been revamped and things moved around, but that day is clear in my mind. The office was empty at the time and I was there, bored out of my mind and just sitting there watching all of the students in the lounge. Something grabbed my attention, though. The TV in the lounge was on and it hardly ever was especially that early in the morning. The volume was off until someone decided to cut it on as well. All heads were cocked up toward the screen. Some people were crying others had there hands covering their mouths and a lot of people were standing around all peering at the screen. I then moved from my desk to the hallway so that I could see the TV better and then more people started coming out of the offices. As I looked on the screen, they began showing a playback of what happened and it was the first plane hitting the tower! We couldn't believe it! At first I thought that it was a horrible accident and I immediately began to cry. As I stood there watching the screen seeing the smoke bellow out of the building, the second plane hit and I knew precisely then what was going on. My co-worker Olga at the time, was overwhelmed with emotion. I remember how hard she was crying and I tried to comfort her, but it's even harder to comfort someone when you are equally overcome with emotion yourself. As the news spread throughout the building, employees began to call their loved ones who live in New York to check on them and two people, in particular, were petrified. Both of their spouses were in New York on business and were supposed to be on a plane that morning and in the area of the World Trade Center. I remember their panicked faces as they tried to phone them, but to no avail. The phone lines that morning were tremendously busy! No calls were making it out to that area. Soon, all of us were in the Student Lounge watching the screen. I don't believe any work or anything was accomplished that day.

At home, that night was horrible. The TV stations played the crashes over and over and it was on every network. But one thing in particular grabbed a hold of me. It was a documentary of a guy who was a firefighter in New York. All footage was being taped live as it happened. The scene when the first plane hit and the firefighters were on the way into the building and the sound of the jumpers hitting the ground. In the movie he says, "We all heard it. That sound. No one said a word. You can't describe it. Upon hearing it, you know exactly what it is. You know how bad it is up there if people would rather jump to their deaths than burn to death in the building." I'll never forget that sound or those words for the rest of my life. I've watched the airing of that show every year since 9/11.

One thing that I remember proudly, was the outpouring of TOGETHERNESS that was shown throughout the country after this happened. It has slowly faded away since. EVERYONE either had a flag at their house, on their clothes even on their car. We were one country and it was beautiful! We need to get that feeling back that we all had after this horrible event happened. We all shared in the tragedy, the grief and in the sorrow. We were one, one country truly indivisible.

The lives of the people who perished that day should be remembered, forever.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Potpourri II

I looked below at my last post and discovered that it’s been two weeks since my last post and decided that it’s high time I get busy!! Yes, I’ve been busy, moving and adjusting to a new place but I meant busy writing… I’ve found that it is one of the things that truly calm me and allows my mind to escape the hell otherwise known as my life.

Everything in my life is NOT by any means hell per se... My children are truly blessings although they can push a sistahs buttons without even trying. I know I over react sometimes and that is an ongoing project that I will continue to try and maintain. But my children are the reason I exist; they bring a smile to my face when they don’t even know I’m watching them… I love the moments when they are giggling together or singing in the mirror together – dancing and enjoying themselves as I stand off in the distance watching them from around the corner… They are the reasons I do what I do, work where I work, live where I live, and smile when I smile. They are my life’s joys.

I wish I had them closer together meaning, not a six year gap between their ages, but I had them and they were/are healthy children. They are helpful, they are kind, fun loving, energetic children with their whole lives ahead of them and they are my motivation. I want them, when they are grown, to be able to look at me and be proud and know that everything I did, I did for them and their happiness whether it is something they can see now or won’t realize until then. Either way, their opinions of me are the only two that truly matter besides how I view myself.

How I view myself varies from time to time. I can be very meek when it comes to some people and be a total biatch to others. I can be very strong minded and strong willed to humble and modest. I guess you never know what you are going to get (which is why I’m so damn exciting to be around lol). But as far as my children are concerned, I am loving yet protective and to me that is how I should be. You never realize how strong you are until you have to make a choice that is not an easy one to make. There is usually an internal and external battle going on with tough decisions. You have to know in your heart and mind that the decisions you make whether they be small or large ones affect more than just you which is why each choice needs to be well thought out prior to making it. The people around you who matter will be there for you to support you through these times.

I know this post is all over the place… I guess that is what happens when you wait two weeks before posting something. Hopefully it won’t be that long of a wait next time. For those of you checking everyday waiting for something to read: here it is!! For those of you who haven’t been checking, why not??

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Aaliyah (1979-2001) I LOVED HER and STILL DO!!

It's been 8 years ago today... R.I.P. beautiful soul...


Another summer vacation for the kids has come to an end. It seems like it’s flyin’ by faster and faster. Time seems to fly whether you are having fun or not… Each moment, each minute is so very precious. Our time here is not known from one moment to the next. There are not too many things that are constant in this world… Time tickin’ by slowly but surely is, however, one of them.

Friday, August 21, 2009

If You Were In a Bar Fight...

I was listening to the radio the other morning on my way into work and they asked the question: If you were in a bar fight, which 3 stars would you want helping you? The answers were really funny too!! One guy said he would bring in George Bush because since he did such a great job F'ing up the country then he would easily win in a bar fight! Funny, right?! (Well to some of us that is...) Anywho, my three choices are below. I'm going with all ladies on this one!! Hey, we can put it down!! Who would you like on your team and why?

Angelina Jolie - Lara Croft

Uma Thurman - Kill Bill

Linda Hamilton - Sarah Connor - Terminator

Thursday, August 20, 2009


Why are the views of other people more important to us than how we see ourselves??

Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why do some people love other people in their lives MORE than they love themselves?

Why does your doctor make you change out of your clothes, then tells you to put on a robe just to move the robe out of the way to see your naked body anyway?

Why are the nice people the hurt ones while the ones who treat others like garbage are the most carefree folks you’ll ever meet?

Why do we press the “Start” button to cut off the computer?

Why are families so hard to keep together but people have friendships from childhood that last “until death do they part”?

Why is there a light in the refrigerator and NOT the freezer?

Why is it easier to find fault in others than seeing fault in yourself?

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Brandy - "2nd Thought" Lyrics

I've said it before, sometimes music has a way of saying things better than we ever could and this song is no exception. I'm probably one of the few fans Brandy Norwood has left, but that's fine, her music always hits home for me... She's always right on time regardless of when she arrives!!

Ain't it funny how

Ain't it funny how things always come right back around

How the tables turn

With a little time the ones was up will soon be down

Got me thinking bout

What is was that made me think that you were all so great

Had me sitting round

Tryna figure out what you thought was so wrong with me

You treated me like I wasn't open

Thought you were something

You made it seem like Rocka wasn't that thing

Now you calling again and I was thinking

You almost had me for a minute but I

On 2nd Thought I'm alright

Don't hate me cause I changed my mind

I thought that I wasn't working

Now look who's hurting for a chance to be with me

On 2nd Thought don't drop by

I think it'd be a waste of time

Remember you wasn't digging it

Now you so into it on 2nd Thought I'll say goodbye

(Bye, bye, bye, goodbye, bye, bye, bye)

If back then was now

Probably would have said thank you lord for sending him to me

But I found out

That it was better to be hurt back then cause now it strengthens me

So now when you bounce

It was because I put you out not you just leaving me

And you’re back around

Is it because I won't start giving that you’re struggling

You treated me like

You treated me like I wasn't nothing

Thought you were something

You made it seem like Rocka wasn't that thing

Now you calling again and I was thinking

You almost had me fooled for a minute but on 2nd Thought

On 2nd Thought I'm alright

Don't hate me cause I changed my mind

I thought that I wasn't working

Now look who's hurting for a chance to be with me

On 2nd Thought don't drop by

I think it'd be a waste of time

Remember you wasn't digging it

Now you so into it on 2nd Thought I'll say goodbye

(Bye, bye, bye, goodbye, bye, bye, bye)

I could never

Let you back into my life

I would never turn back the hands of time

Some things are meant to just fade away

There's no way you

Could ever change everything you done

Wouldn't matter to me cause I moved on

Now I would see something better

In mind, You don't…

On 2nd Thought I'm alright

Don't hate me cause I changed my mind

I thought that I wasn't working

Now look who's hurting for a chance to be with me

On 2nd Thought don't drop by

I think it'd be a waste of time

Remember you wasn't digging it

Now you so into it on 2nd Thought I'll say goodbye

It didn't have to be this way but

You could have had me anyway but

You chose to do it don't know what led you to it

Now you hurting without me (yeah, yeah)

Should have did me right before now I don't need you no more

Marble and Mayan - 2 yr old Cats - Need Home...

"Life is Not a Race"

My friend sent me this and I thought it was AMAZING!! Thanks Naomi!!

Too many people put off something that brings them joy just because they haven't thought about it, don't have it on their schedule, didn't know it was coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine.

I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night in an effort to cut back. From then on, I've tried to be a little more flexible.

How many women out there will eat at home because their husband didn't suggest going out to dinner until after something had been thawed? Does the word 'refrigeration' mean nothing to you?

How often have your kids dropped in to talk and sat in silence while you watched 'Jeopardy' on television?

I cannot count the times I called my sister and said, 'How about going to lunch in a half hour?' She would gas up and stammer, 'I can't. I have clothes on the line. My hair is dirty. I wish I had known yesterday, I had a late breakfast, It looks like rain.' And my personal favorite: 'It's Monday.' She died a few years ago. We never did have lunch together.

Because Americans cram so much into their lives, we tend to schedule our headaches. We live on a sparse diet of promises we make to ourselves when all the conditions are perfect!

We'll go back and visit the grandparents when we get Steve toilet-trained. We'll entertain when we replace the living-room carpet... We'll go on a second honeymoon when we get two more kids out of college.

Life has a way of accelerating as we get older. The days get shorter, and the list of promises to ourselves gets longer. One morning, we awaken, and all we have to show for our lives is a litany of 'I'm going to,' 'I plan on,' and 'Someday, when things are settled down a bit.'

When anyone calls my 'seize the moment' friend, she is open to adventure and available for trips. She keeps an open mind on new ideas. Her enthusiasm for life is contagious. You talk with her for five minutes, and you're ready to trade your bad feet for a pair of Roller blades and skip an elevator for a bungee cord..

My lips have not touched ice cream in 10 years. I love ice cream. It's just that I might as well apply it directly to my stomach with a spatula and eliminate the digestive process. The other day, I stopped the car and bought a triple-decker. If my car had hit an iceberg on the way home, I would have died happy.

Now..go on and have a nice day. Do something you WANT to . . . . . . not something on your SHOULD DO list. If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?

Have you ever watched kids playing on a merry go round or listened to the rain lapping on the ground? Ever followed a butter fly's erratic flight or gazed at the sun into the fading night? Do you run through each day on the fly? When you ask ' How are you?' Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done, do you lie in your bed with the next hundred chores running through your head? Ever told your child, 'We'll do it tomorrow .' And in your haste, not see his sorrow? Ever lost touch? Let a good friendship die? Just call to say 'Hi?

When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like an unopened gift....Thrown away ..... Life is not a race. Take it slower. Hear the music before the song is over.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Vick Signed to Eagles

For all of you who didn't think Michael Vick would be signed to a new team in the NFL... Here's what he says to you:

Get 'em Vick!! LOL!! Sorry McNabb, but after 11 years, it's time...

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Tragedy or Murder??

Child found dead in vehicle in Freescale parking lot Police do not suspect foul play and are calling the boy's death a 'tragedy.' By Andrea Lorenz


Thursday, August 13, 2009

Austin police were investigating the death of a child found in a parked vehicle Wednesday at Freescale Semiconductor on West Parmer Lane.

Someone saw the child in the vehicle, which was parked in Freescale's north parking lot, and called 911 at 4:22 p.m., officer Dennis Farris said.

Police said the child was an Asian boy under 5 years old. Farris did not give the child's exact age. He said homicide detectives are investigating, but no charges have been filed and they don't suspect foul play. An autopsy has been ordered, he said.

"It's just a tragedy at this point," Farris said.

Farris said one of the child's parents left the child in the vehicle, and police are questioning both parents.

Police did not know how long the child was left in the vehicle, "but it was an extended period of time," Farris said.

The temperature in Austin on Wednesday reached 102 degrees.

Farris said there is a child care center at the complex, but he didn't know whether the child attended the center or whether either parent was a Freescale employee.

Don't suspect foul play? Is that what I read above? How could this not be foul play? I've seen people on talk shows who said that it was an accident that they left their child in a child on "accident". How does that happen? One lady in particular claimed that her schedule was routine - she did things the same way EVERY DAY. Her husband usually took the children to school but this day she had to take her youngest to daycare.. For some reason, after leaving the house, she followed her normal course without even thinking/remembering that her kid was in the back seat. She got out the car, locked it and went in to work.. After returning to her car after her shift was over, she then "noticed" her child - dead in the back seat.. WTF? Since this day was out of the ordinary, wouldn't you think that special attention would have been paid to the less than routine day? I don't know how folks minds works these days...

If nothing else counts as "foul play" shouldn't the fact that neither of the parents of this 5 year old boy in the story above work for the company where the child was found? Although it says that there was a daycare IN the company, it probabbly doesn't make it any cheaper to have your children there. (On a side note, I believe more companys should have daycare options available for their employees. Anywho...)

The story also said that it was a steamy 102 outside yesterday!! It fails to mention how hot the inside of the car was when the boy was found. It wouldn't surprise me if it was above 120 in there. That in itself, to me, is foul play...

I know, I know... Someone reading this is either going to say or is thinking "I leave my kids in the car all the time to just run into a store." That situation is not what we are talking about here, although since the point is raised might as well discuss it.. lol... I disagree with that too. There are sooo many different things that could happen in JUST AN INSTANT. So many variables: air condition on or off, car running or not, automatic locks or not, age of children, located in a "good" part of town or not, type of car, etc... It just shouldn't be done. It will be better for you, the environment and your children to NOT leave the car running at all, let alone leaving your children unattended in a car for any period of time.

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Teenager’s Dad Kills Her, Foster Dad, Shoots Foster Mom, Kills Himself

Christopher Milburn, 34, killed the 15-year-old, her foster father (Todd Randolph) and wounded her foster mother (Susan Randolph) before taking his own life Sunday. Milburn worked as a counselor at the McDowell Center for Children, which helps at-risk and troubled children. The father was friends with the foster father and had worked for him in the past. Susan has been released from a Memphis hospital on Monday. The Randolph’s have two children who were at their grandparents’ house during the time of the shootings.

The question becomes, if the child had indeed been abused by the father and even if she hadn’t, why place the child in a foster home just a few doors down from where she lived? The fact that the killer was a counselor for at-risk children and then to do this to his own child is just pitiful… What is this world coming to?

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Boiling Mad!!

Queens Woman Pours Boiling Water on Cheating Husband's Crotch BY Kerry Burke, Alison Gendar and Bill Hutchinson DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITERS

Tuesday, July 28th 2009, 10:28 AM

In a twisted act of revenge, Oyinda Ojofeitimi, 67, a registered nurse, carried out the crotch-scalding attack to ensure her spouse stopped cheating, cops said.

"She was hurt and angry that after all this time married, he was stepping out on her," a police source said. "She wanted to shut down that possibility forever because he had treated her with such contempt."

The painful wakeup call left Emmanuel Ojofeitimi, also a nurse, screaming in the bedroom of the couple's home on Milburn St. in Springfield Gardens.

"I could hear it through the ceiling," said a mother of two, who rents an upstairs apartment in the feuding couple's house. "It was a physical altercation. It was the woman screaming and him in the background."

"They took him out on a stretcher," said another neighbor, Felix Smith.

The woman immediately regretted the assault and called 911, cops said. She was treating him with cold compresses when paramedics arrived. Her husband, 67, suffered second- and third-degree burns from his knees to his abdomen, police said. He was being treated at the burn unit at Nassau University Medical Center.

Oyinda Ojofeitimi told cops she recently had learned her husband of 20 years had been unfaithful.

Fed up and furious, she awoke at 6 a.m. and boiled a pot of water on her stove, cops said. As her husband slept, she poured the pot on his privates, cops said.

Arrested on assault charges, the betrayed wife, an immigrant of Grenada, was awaiting arraignment Monday night.

Okay... I've been cheated on just like the next person, but never in my right mind have I EVER thought of creating this type of injury to someone! Should she be put away for her crime?! Of course! Do I feel like she was justified for what she has done? No! If the husband is indeed guilty of cheating on his wife, then he is definetly wrong for what he has done, but for her to do this is just CRAZY!! What happened to leaving someone before hurting them whether it be emotionally or physically? People are just NUTS!!

Monday, July 27, 2009

Horrible Precedent?

Mother may be charged with a felony due to her 14 year old weighing 555 pounds. Is childhood obesity a felony? Is this child abuse or child neglect? Please watch the video and THEN decide...

Obama's Conversation with Sgt. Crowley

Obama discusses his conversation with Sgt. Crowley...

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Obama's Opinion of Dr. Gates Arrest

I don't know--not having been there and not seeing all the facts--what role Race played in that; but I think it's fair to say: 1) Any of us would be pretty angry. 2) That the Cambridge police acted stupidly in arresting somebody when there was already proof that they were in their own home. 3) What I think we know, separate and apart from this incident, is that there is a long history in this country of African-Americans and Latinos being stopped by law enforcement, disproportionately. That's just a fact. ... And that is a sign, an example, of how Race remains a factor in this society.

That doesn't lessen the incredible progress that has been made--I'm standing here as testimony to the progress that has been made.

And, yet, the fact of the matter is that this still haunts us. ... The fact that Blacks and Hispanics are picked up more frequently, and often time for no cause, casts suspicion even when there is good cause. And that's why I think the more that we're working with local law enforcement to improve policing techniques, so that we're eliminating potential bias, the safer everybody's going to be.

My thoughts are all over the place on this one... I've been reading up on the Gates story since last week when it first occurred. Of course I only know what I've read and what I've seen on the news, because, like most of us, we weren't there to witness this for ourselves. HOWEVER, from what I know, this story is not surprising. It's not surprising because things like this happen everyday, but when things happen to well known people ONLY THEN does it get reported on the news and becomes a big deal.

I know someone reading this will say, "Here you go again, Tiki... Talking about racism." Yeah, you're right, here I am again.. And guess what? I will continue to talk about it until the day it ceases from occuring.. When will that be?? Oh yeah, never... And I did refrain from writing about the black children a couple of weeks ago who were told that they couldn't swim with the white kids in a pool in Philly because they would, as John Duesler - the President of the Valley Swim Club said in a statement "There was concern that the kids would change the complexion... and the atmosphere of the club." There I go on one of my tangents again..

Let me begin with the "Neighbor". Did she not recognize Mr. Gates? Who breaks into a home with luggage? He was returning home from a trip... If she noticed that someone was "breaking in" to the house, shouldn't she have also noticed the luggage? Nosey ass.. Many people that I've heard discussing this have had all kinds of things to say about her like: maybe she didn't want black folks in her neighborhood, she works at Harvard with Mr. Gates - maybe something happened at work that she didn't like and wanted to get revenge... People and their speculations... Unfortunately, her name was published too so maybe she will begin to mind her own business from now on.

The cops... They claim that they arrested Mr. Gates for being "unruly". Now you tell me.. Do you know someone that would be arrested for doing nothing wrong that WOULDN'T be unruly? I know peeps who are unruly for no reason at all. lol!! Why wouldn't/shouldn't he be unruly? He showed the cops two forms of ID both showing his address, proving that he lived there and they STILL arrested him?? Yes, unruly is less than what I would've been... Did they just arrest him for "talking back" to them? This is supposed to be a place of "freedom of speech" or does that not count when dealing with the po po?

The last thing I read about this was that Mr. Gates was not pressing charges.. WTF? I'm sorry, but being arrested for something that I did not do is grounds for litigation. I'll take my punishment like the next man, but when it comes down to me being innocent, that's a different story. Shouldn't he press charges so that this doesn't happen again? So he can make an example out of himself and others in his situation? Oh yeah, you're right... This WILL happen again regardless..

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Is Chris Brown's Apology Enough?

I guess since I did a two line post about Rihanna when this madness broke out between her and Chris Brown that I should post something from his side. Below you will find the apology-heard-around-the-world from Chris Brown. The good thing is that he didn't make excuses for his behavior, but do you think his apology will be enough to get his career back on track? There have been many excuses said in the media about him: he's young, we don't know the story, he's grown up with this in his household... None of those work for me. The one that actually "hurt" the most is the excuse that he's grown up with this happening in his house.. IF he saw his mother being hurt over and over again by his step-father, why on EARTH would he want to cause that type of pain to someone that he "supposedly" loves? I'll never understand... Anyway, for those that care, the line by line reading of his apology is below...

Monday, July 20, 2009

Should Micheal Vick Be Allowed to Play in the NFL??

You all that know me KNOW that I love me some Micheal Vick!! Yes, I do! Besides him be fine as all get out, he was a terrific quarterback! He had hustle beyond hustle! He made plays that only he could make! He was fast and reliable! I also know that the Atlanta Falcons did pretty well this passed year without him. I'm not blind to that... There are other teams who could use him, but will they give him a chance to play? Will the NFL Commissioner, Roger Goodell, look passed his issues and give him another chance? He's paid his dues to society.. He has done his time.. Will society look passed his offenses and allow him back into the game and their hearts?

“You want to make sure from a skills standpoint that you’re where you were or better than where you were,” said Baltimore Ravens quarterbacks coach Hue Jackson. “That’s the first thing. The second thing is the speed of the game. Just getting back used to the speed of the defensive backs, the speed of the defensive line, the rush – all the things that come flying at you play in and play out. And then it’s just the preparation. Because for three years, or two years, or whatever it’s been, you haven’t had to prepare. You haven’t had to be disciplined and sit in a video room. Those are the three things that are paramount.”

With his time away from the field, do you think he would have been able to keep up his skills? 23 months is a long time to not have the practice time that others have had to build their strength, to learn the plays, to practice, to build love for the team. Will America forget what he's done and remember the player he was?

Friday, July 17, 2009


Whether the weather is cold or hot

Whether you are young or not

Some people will promise you the world

When they don’t even have a pot

In this world all you have is YOU

And the Lord above it’s true

To depend on yourself alone

And the Lord is what you must do

Friends and Family will help

Quiet as it’s kept

Lean on them when you can

But play the hand that YOU were dealt

Things will get better before they get worse

Tighten up the belt, lock down that purse

Sacrifices will be made, things will be hard

You are not alone… Your problems- REVERSE…

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Too Fat for Surgeon General Position??


By all accounts Surgeon General nominee Dr. Regina Benjamin is an extraordinary woman. She is an African-American family doctor who has spent most of her professional life serving the people of Bayou La Batre, a poor rural Alabama coastal community. She makes house calls, pays for patients’ medicines, works for free when there is no money. She’s had heaps of honors poured on her head , including a MacArthur genius award. She rebuilt her clinic twice, once following Hurricane Katrina and then a year later when it was destroyed by a fire.

She is an active Catholic and, if her office nurse is to be believed, she is one of the more than 90 percent of Catholics who have no problem with birth control. (I have rarely met a devout Catholic working with poor people who is not an advocate of safe and effective contraception — from nuns in Chile to priests in the Philippines. They get that having children you cannot afford degrades the soul perhaps even more than the body.) This, then, is a near-perfect public face for a president embarking on a controversial last-ditch effort to fix our health care system and serve the poor.

The only problem seems to be that some people think the face is too fat.

From her photos, it appears that Dr. Benjamin will need a generous size 18 military uniform. The anti-fat brigade has been arguing in various online comments sections about her BMI and whether or not the term obese applies. These chattering masses wonder if a country plagued by obesity should have an above average-weight woman speaking to public health.
I'm not sure I have an opinion on this story... Let's see what the blogospere has to say...

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Demetrius Butler (Meechie), Why did this day come??

Thinking back on this day three years ago when I heard the tragic news… doesn’t seem like it’s been this long. Things were rough then in my house and didn’t have any means of communication but a pay by the minute cell phone. The morning of July 14th I awoke like every day preparing to go to work when I noticed the phone blinking – the power was low and minutes were basically gone. The meanings behind the basically empty minutes were 7 missed calls and 3 messages. I had just enough power and minutes to get the messages. The messages were - one from my oldest brother, my mom and my dad. I went down to the pool at our apartment complex because I knew there was a phone there (not anymore) and I had change to make the call to my Mom. She was very upset when she came to the phone and I was shocked at this since it was just 6:00 in the morning. She said that she didn’t know how to tell me but she’ll just say it – my cousin (Meechie) had been killed in a car accident.

Now mind you, this wasn’t a “normal” accident where there were two cars or more cars involved. Just one… His… That’s it… Most of my family (uncles, aunts, cousins) live in this relatively small town in Mississippi where every road is a back road. Hardly any street lights, houses spread apart, bumpy unkept roads - some even gravel still… But my cousin grew up there; he knew those roads like the back of his hands. Funny thing is when visiting my brothers and I know those roads too although we didn’t really grow up there. My dad was in the military so we grew up everywhere and nowhere at the same time…

Well, about two weeks prior to this, I took the girls to my Mom’s house in Mississippi to spend the remainder of the summer with her. They were just stuck in the house all day every day and it was quite boring for them. Mom and I decided it would be good for them to visit her and just as good for her so that she isn’t alone either. So lucky for this happening, it allowed me to see my cousin one last time.

Although Meechie and I were not in the same town or the same state, it didn’t stop us from being close. We’ve always been close. My Mom (Gloria) was the big sister of the family and his Mom (Linda) was the next sister in line. Our Mothers are extremely close… Growing up I would make sure during each phone call to make sure I tell him and his brother how much I loved them. When we would go to visit, I would stay at their house and spend my time with them. When we became grown, my mom, his mom, my other aunt (Angie) and me would all be on the phone 4 way – laughing and singing. I would tell his mom, “Make sure you tell my cousins I love them.”

I won’t tell you how the rest of the phone call went. To tell you the truth, I can’t remember how it went. I remember after her saying that Meechie was killed, I remember collapsing on the ground with the phone kind of hanging there – I was crying hysterically… I just never thought... Not him, not then… I made it home some kind of way and when I got there, Ryan came running from the bedroom to me. He was asking what was wrong, what happened... I was still crying and managed to get it out to him what happened. I fell in his arms and we both cried and cried... It was horrible… I made it to work and I remember crying most of the day. I spoke to my boss and took off the remainder of the week. Ryan and I got off of work that day at 4 and made the trip to Mississippi, driving over night with “Monsters” in one hand and the steering wheel in the other…

Now, remember, I said that my girls were in Mississippi when this happened. He died not to far from my Mom’s house – apparently on the way home from his friend’s house. I believe his friend saw the car burning on the side of the road and called Linda. Angie, Linda, and his brother Chris (named after my brother) all went to the scene… and so the phone calls to the family came after that… When we arrived that next morning, we went to the crash site. Still in shock, nothing seemed real… What I don’t remember is when Chris and Don (my brothers) and their families made it – everything is a blur… (I remember certain things after this point, but the order is what I’m unsure of. It was such an emotional time for all of us.) While we were at the sight, we were trying to re-live what could’ve happened to him. Things just didn’t make sense. There were no tire marks, nothing indicating that he hit the brakes at all. The tree that he hit was burnt from the bottom to the top… The grass around was all burnt. It was weird, he hit the only tree there was that could’ve done any damage… The other trees and bushes around the area were too small to do anything… Right across from his tree was a dirt/gravel road. It looked like he was driving down the road, someone/something came from out of the gravel road and he swerved to miss it and hit the tree… Of course these are all assumptions… Looking down that street, looking at the gravel road, looking at the tree, it all seemed so surreal. We were looking for clues to what happened. Looking around in the burnt grass for anything that reminded us of him… Ryan found a piece of clothing and the emblem from the car he was driving – it was Linda’s car. I had written a poem for him and Linda placed it in the center of a reef and attached it to the tree. I made sure to put it in plastic so it would last for a long time against the elements…

Family from all over attended his funeral… It was a horribly sad day. Meechie used to say that funerals were nothing but sad family reunions… He was right. Linda picked a beautiful black and gold casket – one that was perfect for him. His flowers, the words from his friends everything was beautiful.

I think of him a lot. Things he would say, things we would do, songs he loved, singers he admired… Everything about him would cross my mind whether I was trying to think of him or not. He’s always with me, he’s always here… I remembered the dreadful day yesterday when he passed and called Linda to send her my love. I remember this morning, the day I found out of his passing. He will never be forgotten, not now… Not ever… I love you…

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Michael Jackson Memorial

Here are some performances from today's MJ Memorial in case you missed it. It will be airing again tonight. Michael's daughter made a speech also where she said, "Ever since I was born, Daddy has been the best father you could ever imagine." Very well said Paris! R.I.P. MJ!!

Monday, June 29, 2009

BET Awards – PLEASE Tell me you watched!!

I can’t even place into words how FABULOUS the BET Awards were last night! I mean from the beginning with New Edition opening the show to the Jamie Foxx and Ne-Yo performance at the end – just pure fabulousness! To tell you the truth, nearly ALL the performances were off the hook. There were one or two that I would have deleted from the show, but all in all – the best show EVER!! Considering that they re-vamped the entire show just a couple of days prior to when it was supposed to air LIVE to have the show and almost of the performances geared toward Michael Jackson – it was great! Of course there were a couple of instances where the person on the BLEEP button was either to engrossed in the show to hit the button or wasn’t expecting the person speaking to curse and altogether missed the opportunity to bleep – that part of the show added to the humor for me!! Let me break it down by performance, but not in order of appearance…

Jamie Foxx – rocked the house!! He hosted the show and ALL of his jokes were funny! All his performances were off the hook! There was a lag time some time, but considering they changed the show up due to the passing away of Michael Jackson the same week it was scheduled to go live, I’m not mad at all of how the show came out! His moon walk and clothing changes were hilarious! He gave MJ the glory all night! He sang a couple of times, one with T-Pain and again with Ne-Yo at the end of the show. I’m a HUGE Jamie fan anyway, but after last night, I’m an even bigger fan than before!

New Edition (with both Bobby Brown and Johnnie Gill) – WHAT?! I almost couldn’t contain myself! They opened the show and about had me wishing they did more songs! Everyone looked great, except Bobby – no surprise there.. Lol..

GUY – OMG – that almost took me over the edge!! AND they sang my favorite song too – “I Like”. I couldn’t handle it!!

Keith Sweat – What!! Same ole Keith!!

Ne-Yo – Absolutely FABULOUS!!! I mean he has the perfect voice to sing MJ songs! I was impressed by his solo AND his duet with Jamie Foxx.

Keri Hilson – I love love love Keri Hilson! BUT, the last couple of moments of her performance, I could’ve done without. It was her first ever performance, which makes things a little bit better. That last 30 seconds was rough…

Keyshia Cole and Monica – Monica stole the show, and it was Keyshia’s song! Monica, put out a CD quick!!

Drake – Or Jimmy from Degrassi (however you recognize him) did a great job with Lil Wayne. I was surprised!

Lil Wayne – It’s Lil Wayne!! Fabulous!!

Fabolous – I’m not a big fan of his… I usually like the people he sings with than him on his own… I used this time to run to the bathroom and fill my drink.. Sorry…

Maxwell – it was beautiful and I’m not really a Maxwell fan…

Soulja Boy – he was alright.. They had to put someone on there for the younger crowd.

Mary Mary/Queen Latifah – I love this Mary Mary song! The beat is great and Queen was good.

Beyonce’ – I usually LOVE her, but she can sometime go over the top which is what happened last night. Way too much and the ballerina outfit was just wrong wrong wrong…

Jay Z – I’m not a big fan of his at all and his new song is wack… (Yes, I’m bringing “wack” back! LOL)

Ciara – I’m a HUGE Ciara fan, but her performance embarrassed me… She’s mainly a dancer and there were other songs she could’ve chosen to sing… She’s not known for her singing, but her dancing is what made her famous…

O’Jays – who could have anything bad to say about the O’Jays??

I’m sorry if I’m leaving anyone out but with all of the excitement from all the great performances, I’m not surprised if someone has been left out. All in all, a great show! It airs again on Tuesday, June 30th in case you missed it!

Friday, June 26, 2009

Michael Jackson - The Black Elvis (1958-2009)

(This post was written last night..)

Also known as the “King of Pop” – Michael Jackson has passed away. There are some things that don’t surprise you and then there are things that do. Some things you are prepared for and other things that you aren’t. Today was one of those days... There are days that come out of nowhere and knock you on your ass… Today, Michael Jackson died.

The blogosphere, the black community, the U.S. and the world will be in mourning today for the great MJ. I don’t want to talk about what he meant to the world, but what he meant to me instead. I have a lot of early memories of MJ. My Mom loved him which caused me to love him too. I remember how in shock I was when I heard his voice - so high. It was a Jackson 5 tape with “ABC”, “Who’s Loving You”, and “I’ll be There”. As time goes on, his earlier hits from his “Off the Wall” album – “Rock with You”, “Don’t Stop ‘til You Get Enough”, and “She’s out of My Life” were all that mattered at the time. His music encompassed me – they made you feel good when you heard them and they still do today.

Well, then of course “Thriller” comes out and the world has been forever changed. I had "The Making of Thriller" on a VHS (A VHS tape is a tape that is used in a VCR - just thought I'd break that down for those young people reading this. lol) tape and my brother taped over it with a couple of episodes of "Speed Racer". I was soooo mad and I cried and cried! I tried my best to get him in trouble for that. We lived in Germany at the time and only had a couple of channels - so that tape was everything to me. (Hey Toot, you still owe me!)

Yes, there may be some people reading this who would like for me to acknowledge that Farrah Fawcett also passed yesterday. She had been ill for a long time with rectal cancer so everyone knew her death was soon to come. There is a difference when you someone is suffering like that and then they pass. It's like they have been set free from their illness and will no longer suffer. However, when someone passes that is NOT sick, the death is a surprise and harder to accept. I digress...

I believe I was a bigger Janet Jackson fan than Michael fan, but without Michael, I would've never noticed Janet. My room was basically wallpapered full of pictures of Janet Jackson. She is on my mind as well during this time. She spoke of her brother often, shared her love that she had for him several times in speeches and on award shows. (Do you remember when there was a rumor saying that Michael and Janet were the same person?)

There are several songs as I've mentioned before that I loved of his, but my favorite of all time is "Human Nature". I've added it below for you - this version was from a concert he preformed. I love you Michael! Your legacy of greatness will live on. Your musicality and artistry will continue to influence the up and coming artists of today. I hope someone picks up the reigns and follows in your footsteps with the songs that have helped children and adults suffering from hunger and unrest all over the world - "Heal the World" and "We are the World".

Looking out across the night-time

The city winks a sleepless eye

Hear her voice shake my window

Sweet seducing sighs

Get me out into the night-time

Four walls won't hold me tonight

If this town is just an apple

Then let me take a bite

If they say, why, why, tell 'em that is human nature

Why, why, does he do me that way

If they say, why, why, tell 'em that is human nature

Why, why, does he do me that way

Reaching out to touch a stranger

Electric eyes are everywhere

See that girl, she knows I'm watching

She likes the way I stare

If they say, why, why, tell 'em that is human nature

Why, why, does he do me that way

If they say, why, why, tell 'em that is human nature