Monday, January 29, 2018

I need this blog..

There was a time when I needed this blog..
I needed it to express myself, needed it to be here for me since I felt I was all alone dealing with this life with no one to listen to me..
I felt I needed it to allow me to vent, to get out what was being held inside of me for a very long time..
I needed to know that folks out in the world were listening to me since I felt as though those I loved the most could care less..
I needed it to get out my opinion, my view point, my suggestions, because I felt no one wanted to hear them..
I needed this blog to be my friend, since I felt all mine left me alone to deal with MY problems even though they needed me for theirs..
I needed this blog, to celebrate with me on things that I accomplished in my life and to cheer me on with things I fell behind on since I was never expected to fail..
I needed this blog..

Now, though, I WANT this blog.. I want it to remind me of where I was and push me to places I want to be!
I WANT this blog, so that I can be an inspiration to others who have been through similar things!
I WANT this blog to be an outlet for me and to record what I have to say so my children can use it in their lives when they need me when I'm no longer here for them!
I WANT this blog so that my family knows how I felt and how I still love them..
I WANT this blog.. and I still NEED this blog..

Sunday, September 27, 2015

Growth Potential

I get such a thrill from repotting plants.. Seeing the growth potential for the plant by giving them room to grow in a bigger better pot with new soil.. There's a chance though that the pot will reject it's new surroundings.. May not like the dirt, may not like the new spot you choose for it to be.. But, if it does choose to survive, what a bigger, prettier, stronger plant you will have! Its leaves are usually larger! It's color, more vibrant! Sounds like us when we make it out of a bad situation! We often think we are stuck in that bad dirt with nowhere to go.. We start to die a little, feeling trapped and stunted by what's around us.. Oh, but when we get the opportunity to outstretch our arms and make it to new ground with promise , what a NEW PERSON we become!

Thursday, September 24, 2015

Lie vs TRUTH

The older I get the more things that used to bother me no longer do... I'm affected by things NOW that used to NOT bother me.. Like lying for instance... I used to just dismiss it and move on, but NOW I see things so differently.. The fact that you would rather lie than tell the truth upsets me.. You have so little respect for me that I'm not worthy of the TRUTH..  The gall..  I have to remember though, that regardless of how well you treat some folks, they will NEVER treat you as they should.. What a hard lesson to repeatedly learn..

Tuesday, August 20, 2013


It's so funny to me how we have such love and respect for the land we live on and NONE for the people who live ON the land.. On my way home from work yesterday, I noticed a tree growing in the middle of the street... The folks who made the roadway, had enough RESPECT for the tree, that they didn't want to remove it to create the road, so they went around it.. Folks have made houses to live in with trees growing through the middle of them just to not DISTURB the life of the tree.

Now what gets me about this whole thing is.. Folks have NO quams of CUTTING DOWN the feelings of a person, but will save a TREE! The lack of respect that humans have for one another is appalling but the life of an animal or even vegetation which has no thoughts, feelings, heart or emotions has gained enough respect from folks to remain tall and firm... While we constantly CUT DOWN peoples thoughts, feelings, ideas, and the self esteem of everyone we come in contact with... It's appalling..

Now someone will inevitably say that, "... the tree is a living organism and will live for hundreds of years so it should remain where it grows.." This arguement may be true, but the fact that MOST humans do not live to be in their 80's should be enough reason to make everyone's life around you WORTH LIVING! We have a short time on this Earth, shouldn't that time be spent WELL?

Respect... I fight to gain as much as the tree that grew in the street has apparently earned...

Friday, June 22, 2012

Potpourri VI

Well, it's been awhile since I've written in here and quite frankly I guess I needed the break.. I've been through things and YES I know everyone does, but those things that matter to you ONLY MATTER TO YOU when it's happening TO YOU so excuse me while I don't make excuses for being away..  Things seem to happen to us all while we feel we are down and I'm not alone in my thoughts, I'm sure...  I'm just different from most because I happen to be able to place my thoughts into words easily.. Although sometimes when this happens, I tend to voice those feelings where and when I shouldn't but TRUST me when I say it's all from love..  

Since I've last been here, I've found a church home!  I've needed to do this as some of you know and some of you have as well and I feel that was HIGHLY IMPORTANT for me to do.. I had to re-gain focus in my life and a church home was very much missing.  Dreams sometimes happen to us to help guide us in the direction we need to go in and as I've written before, I KNOW that was the purpose of that dream that MOVED ME...  My girls' and I LOVE our church and I'm glad and oh so thankful that they love us too!

Relationship wise, I've lost some folks that were close to me and have gotten closer to some who were NOT so close to me.. I've removed people who were causing nothing but drama and I will probably lose more. "Such is LIFE!"  Keeping salty folks in your life only seems to spread into other areas that are SALT FREE and really, who needs that?

My oldest graduated from high school which was AWESOME and started college!  I'm proud of my girl!  She put in the hard work and made it through! I love you Babygirl!! My youngest is now a 7th Grader!! Wow, where does this time go?!  Good job Momma's Baby!!  

Yesterday was pretty hard for me.. It would've been my 20th anniversary... Among the tears I shed, I could tell I was growing and regardless of how or what I need to do to get where I'm trying to be, I'm not scared of doing what I need to do in order to get there!  Today is the 2 year anniversary of my divorce.. I can tell you, I've come a loooonngg way and I'm proud of every step!  

The world does not revolve around me, nor did I ever think it did, BUT my world DID revolve around certain things and certain people.. It's great to know, that in my growth, my eyes have been opened to see, that my focus has changed, my world around me is changing, and I am forever Evolving!!