Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Just Cuz...

Sometimes I know where a blog post is going and sometimes I sit and just let my “fingers do the walking”… I guess today seems like the later… Sometimes I write because I have things to get off my chest when all the other words have already been said and other times I write “Just Cuz”… Have you ever done something or said something, “Just Cuz”? That’s usually the answer you give when either the REAL answer is either not known or too painful to say out loud… I’m not sure which one this is for, I just know that it is what it is…

I’ve been REAL sensitive lately to things that I think people around me don’t understand why I feel the way I do and it’s been a mystery to me also. I just know that I have to be honest with myself and acknowledge my feelings when they happen. I also know that I don’t have to justify anything to anyone. My feelings, my beliefs, and my opinions are MINE and with that, I’ll leave just as it is.

I don’t think I’ve spent time dealing with certain things and I think that I probably should have… Whenever the time comes for me to have the opportunity to deal with these issues, it is THEN that I will deal with it. During my time as I see fit not when others feel like I should or when others want me to. It is THEN that I’ll cry, scream, yell and be angry and when someone asks me why I did what I’ve done, my answer will be, “JUST CUZ”…

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Please Move Around...

Yes I guess I have taken this “protect yourself at all costs” to a new level. Maybe what I’ve done now is create more work than necessary to get in deep with me. But on whose standards should I base this on? I know that I am worth something and I know that I deserve to be treated well and with respect. I will not settle for less than that. Either you can deal with it or you can’t. It’s fine with me either way. It’s that “shit or get off the pot” mentality. Either get on the bus or not, but don’t get on and complain about the trip. You accepted your surroundings when you arrived at the terminal and stepped foot on the transportation. I may be taking what I’ve experienced out onto the next person who chooses to be in my life, but I’ve been conditioned to be the way I am, and I’m not changing for anyone NOR am I asking for you to change for me. So if this is too much for you or if you are not willing to deal with how I am, then by all means PLEASE move around and let someone who IS willing be next in line…