Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Potpourri II

I looked below at my last post and discovered that it’s been two weeks since my last post and decided that it’s high time I get busy!! Yes, I’ve been busy, moving and adjusting to a new place but I meant busy writing… I’ve found that it is one of the things that truly calm me and allows my mind to escape the hell otherwise known as my life.

Everything in my life is NOT by any means hell per se... My children are truly blessings although they can push a sistahs buttons without even trying. I know I over react sometimes and that is an ongoing project that I will continue to try and maintain. But my children are the reason I exist; they bring a smile to my face when they don’t even know I’m watching them… I love the moments when they are giggling together or singing in the mirror together – dancing and enjoying themselves as I stand off in the distance watching them from around the corner… They are the reasons I do what I do, work where I work, live where I live, and smile when I smile. They are my life’s joys.

I wish I had them closer together meaning, not a six year gap between their ages, but I had them and they were/are healthy children. They are helpful, they are kind, fun loving, energetic children with their whole lives ahead of them and they are my motivation. I want them, when they are grown, to be able to look at me and be proud and know that everything I did, I did for them and their happiness whether it is something they can see now or won’t realize until then. Either way, their opinions of me are the only two that truly matter besides how I view myself.

How I view myself varies from time to time. I can be very meek when it comes to some people and be a total biatch to others. I can be very strong minded and strong willed to humble and modest. I guess you never know what you are going to get (which is why I’m so damn exciting to be around lol). But as far as my children are concerned, I am loving yet protective and to me that is how I should be. You never realize how strong you are until you have to make a choice that is not an easy one to make. There is usually an internal and external battle going on with tough decisions. You have to know in your heart and mind that the decisions you make whether they be small or large ones affect more than just you which is why each choice needs to be well thought out prior to making it. The people around you who matter will be there for you to support you through these times.

I know this post is all over the place… I guess that is what happens when you wait two weeks before posting something. Hopefully it won’t be that long of a wait next time. For those of you checking everyday waiting for something to read: here it is!! For those of you who haven’t been checking, why not??

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