Tuesday, August 31, 2010


What I want and need is important. I AM IMPORTANT to me and my children. This may seem like a “DUH” moment to some people, but to ME, it’s an “AHA” moment (as Oprah would call it.) Not everyone realizes their importance. Not everyone sees what other people see. Not everyone views themselves as others view them. (In some cases that may be a good thing…) Some people believe they are more important in your life then they TRULY are… Maybe YOU need to be reminded of your OWN worth rather than them reminding you of how important they SHOULD be… Oftentimes, when you are around negative people enough or people who tell you that you aren’t worth much, we begin to believe them. We think that what this person says is true because you’ve heard it so often. It’s the same with people who lie all the time. It’s easy for them to pass a lie detector test because they’ve told so many lies that the lies BECOME the truth, at least to THEM. I think women have the hardest time with realizing their worth. They’ve been beaten on, sometimes literally, and broken down that it becomes hard to see yourself as anything MORE. I’m here to tell you, there is more out there for all of us once we realize that we DESERVE it!

Monday, August 23, 2010

Too Much To Ask For??

I've been asked several times if I know what I want in a relationship. I guess that is a good question considering my marriage just ended. It's something to give alot of thought to PRIOR to getting involved with someone new. It's helpful to know what I will expect of someone and what I will and WILL NOT put up with.

I would like someone in my life who has all these things listed below... Not necessarily in that order but who has ALL these qualities for sure! Some of you may think that these items are NO-BRAINERS, but believe me to some people some of these things don't exist at all...

*Someone who will love my children as if they are their own

*Someone who is loyal

*Who would love me more than they love their friends although friends are important and we can't lose our individuality while being together

*A PARTNER financially (not someone to take care of me or me of him but someone who can assist in taking care of the household WITH me)

*Someone who values my opinions as I do theirs

*Someone who will walk NEXT to me instead of trying to walk ahead of me

*Someone who will only put their hands on me in a loving fashion and not to cause me pain

*A man who can stand on his own and be a man without me being more responsible than him

*A man who can compliment me and NOT take over me

*Sense of Humor

I know I've left some things out since I was making the list off the top of the dome, but it's a good list to start off with that's for sure. As I've said in earlier posts, "... history repeats itself... but only if the variables remain unchanged..." There are certain areas of MY history that in NO WAY would I want to re-live again, so in order to prevent that from happening, I have to make some changes! I've done so somewhat, but our lives, our situations, our futures are forever changing and I want a say so in MINE!!

Monday, August 02, 2010

My Inspiration...

A couple of people have told me that my blog has inspired them to begin to write and to all of y'all I saw "Thank You!" Believe it or not, some of you are my inspirations as well.. Maybe not to WRITE, but to attempt to be a better person to myself. To not be so hard on myself. To not judge myself so unfairly against others. To recognize how I need to allow myself to fail and to know that it's okay to do so. To learn my self worth and my strength. To be able to see a positive future although my past is less than perfect. Some of these things are hard to see when not paying attention to yourself because you are spending so much time attempting to fix others while your own mess is stacking up. None of us are alone in our daily fight and together, no fight is a losing battle.

Most people that are inspirations have NO IDEA that you feel that way about them. They spend their time just doing what they do all the while, we notice them. They make us want to be better people. They make us want to be our best so that we can prove to the world (and to ourselves) that we aren't bad people. It's so important to smile these days, you never know whose day you're making by having that smile to show the world. We never know what issues people are facing in their own homes, but EVERYONE has SOMETHING that they are dealing with, that's for sure whether they want to express it or not. Everyone's day can become brighter just by a silent smile.

My Mom and my children are my daily inspirations. They make me want the best for them. They make me want to prove to them that no matter what things happen to you or what things you go through, you never give up! Regardless of the pain you're in, you can make it through! I am who I am today because of them.

Sunday, August 01, 2010

Just Disappointed...

Ok... I know I can be a handful to some people, but I gotta be me whether it's something other people can deal with or not... I am who I am and I don't apologize for a damn thing. Love me or hate me, it's your decision but either way I'm still winning because I'm on YOUR mind... This post may sound like I'm angry, I'm not... Just disappointed... Disappointed in some people who can allow things to get to them to the point that they miss out on a great person. Disappointed that others can allow things to come inbetween me and them to the point where we split apart... Disappointed that I'm expected to do things for other people when that same expectation can't be returned... Disappointed that I give ALL of who I am when the other person can get away with giving me just a simple fraction of who they are... I'm just disappointed...