I had a talk with someone recently about an incident that happened to her the other night. She was checking her mailbox at about 10:45 p.m. (yes it was late) and a man (who happened to be black) ran into the mailbox area. She lives in an apartment complex so her mailbox was incased in a small house of sorts with plenty of mailboxes surrounding hers. The first thing that popped into her mind was that she was alone, at night, with this black man. Now mind you he ran into the mailbox area seemingly out of breath and asking for her help. He seemed nervous which made her nervous as well. She motioned to the man to leave and asked several times to just leave her alone and to just let her get to her car. “Please!!” she begged him. Never did she pay attention to anything that he said UNTIL she was on the way out of the mailbox area and a police car pulled up. As she was getting into her car she overheard the man tell the police “He’s been beating me, I had to run, I just had to!” Apparently the man (as she thought) was actually a boy, who had been beaten by his father was reaching out to her for help and all she saw was a “black man”. Apparently he had been knocking on doors pleading for help and no one, including her helped him. When she figured out what happened, when she made it to her apartment, she let herself in and cried herself to sleep…
I didn’t want to mention until the end of the story that the person telling me this story was black too. She said to me, “Why has society made us so afraid of our own kind?” Wow… What a powerful question. I had no answer for her. None. Do you? To tell you the truth, I didn't know what to say to that story OR to her question... I'm not sure what I would've done differently if anything at all. It's hard to say unless placed in the situation. But one thing I tell you is I can't get that question out of my mind... Is it society? Is it our own insecurities? I think being placed in that situation myself, I would've been scared REGARDLESS of who would've walked/ran/jumped into that mailbox area at that time of night, which is why I don't usually check my mail at night in the first place. The best way to protect yourself is to not place yourself in bad situations... I know... Easier said then done...
1 comment:
I don’t think this woman should have to feel bad, cry herself to sleep or have one more second of guilt for her actions. I feel that a woman’s first concern when a male approaches her in an aggressive manner should be her safety. That WAS her first concern. Period. If females were not raped, kidnapped, and killed on a regular basis, she would not have a reason to be concerned for her personal safety. But we are. She clearly had a strong gut instinct that kicked in, that told her something. Most of the time, when women are raped, kidnapped or killed, they ignore that gut instinct. So should she apologize for a natural gut instinct that she cannot control? It in my opinion has nothing to do with race. I would have reacted the same way to any race, and any age of a male over the age of adolescence. If he looked like he could attack me, I’d be afraid. Junior High kids are being initiated into gangs, and in order to get in they have to often kill, or rape women. Just ask the family of the elderly lady who died in downtown Austin recently, on Cesar Chavez by young kids wanting to join a gang. I don’t believe we as women should apologize for being wrong when we tell someone to “GET BACK!!” and they do not, and it’s actually a harmless situation. They need to get the fuck back. If they keep coming at me, and I’m fearing for my life, they might find a 9mm hollowpoint between their eyes.
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