Thursday, November 20, 2008

My Friend or Not my Friend ~ Is the Question...

I was asked the other day for my opinion on a subject that was affecting one of my coworkers. She asked, “Tiki, if you were really close friends with someone and you knew they were cheating on their spouse, would you continue to be friends with her?” Now, those of you close to me know that I will not continue to be friends with someone who adds chaos to my already busy life. I’m known for cutting off friendships with those who add drama instead of peace to my life. In this day and age, life is too short to continue this.

Matter of fact, the situation got worse the longer the conversation went on. My coworker also added that the friend uses her as a scapegoat while she goes and does her deed with her “manstress”. Apparently, the husband was once a slut and did things that a lot of men are known to do and started the relationship off in a not so great of ways, but has since turned his life around and has changed. I’m not sure if this was before the marriage or not, however, she did choose to marry (or continue to stay) him despite his past.

Sorry, I couldn’t continue this friendship and before ending it, I would let my feelings be known of the subject. I couldn’t continue being friends with someone who doesn’t respect me enough to leave me out of her already contaminated situation. AND to know that she is willing to put my name on the line to continue this bad relationship is enough to make me sick.

Am I wrong here? Of course, someone will say that this person is your friend and you should be friends no matter what – unconditional love. Sorry, but that love is or should be for family. Friends are on the outside of that “unconditional” part. Of course, I’m not above anyone and have done things that I’m not part of, but I do not think that I’ve brought others down with me in the process. My mistakes have been mine and mine alone. I’m sure I may have lost friends in the process for mistakes I’ve made and if so, I apologize for that. I’ve grown up since then and have learned from a lot of my mistakes.

Okay, so with all this said, now is the time to holla at me and let me and the world know what you think!


holly said...

Tiki, to give you my opinion, I'm not sure how I would react. I think I would stand by my friend. But I also think if my friend was too full of drama and dragged me into it they would get snipped snipped because I don't like that shit. So it depends on who is doing it, how loyal I am to their spouse, how long I've known this friend, and if they involve me. I can't say I would ever automatically snip snip the friendship ties if there is no drama, no dragging me into it, I dont' know the spouse, and it's all based on my moral judgement only.
Lot's of what if's there! I hope I never have to make that choice.

Jennifer said...

well you know, i too, am known for cutting off friendships. and you know how i feel about cheating. i couldn't continue to be that person's friend. depending how tight i might be with the husband i would probably tell him. even though jenni is my best friend, joe is close to me, as well. and i have promised him i would let him know if she was cheating on him.