Sex THAT Important??

(Accidentally deleted this one..Had to repost this..) Is anyone else tired of hearing the stories of famous men cheating on either their famous or not so famous significant others? I mean, it’s everywhere all the time! What is with these men and them not being able to remain faithful to their womenfolk? I’m sure women cheat on their men too, but it’s not as prevalent as these supposed “men”.

Is sex that important to men that they have to get it from everyone, everywhere, all the time? People have the nerve to cheat on someone and then not to even strap up when they are doing the “dirty deed”. On top of that, they bring the nastiness home to the spouse or significant other that they shouldn’t have been cheating on in the first place. Just NASTY!! Then we wonder how diseases spread so fast. Why not leave the one you’re with if you aren’t happy with what they are doing or NOT doing in the bedroom instead of cheating on them? If u aren’t happy with how they put it down then u shouldn’t have married them in the beginning. Is the “Cheaper to Keep Her” view still floating around? I mean, didn’t you know what you were getting into before the wedding? To that question, I’m sure some man will respond that we women change after the wedding happens and you know what – you men do too and not always for the better.

So much emphasis is put on sex and not enough on other important attributes of relationships such as: trust, love, communication, respect, commitment, and passion… What happened to the importance of all of those? Do they not matter anymore?

Dante Wesley's Uncalled for Smash on Sunday...

When things like this happen, people bring up the "brutality" of football. I am all for a good game but this was just down right malicious! What was he thinking? For him to be surprised by being ejected is even more wild to me than the hit... Why is it when people do something that is obviously wrong that they seem put off by the punishment? Never seems to amaze me...

BOREDOM

Isn’t one of the worst things in the world being bored? Being bored at your job makes you do things at work that you normally wouldn’t do such as play on Facebook, Yahoo Games (I’m addicted to Bejeweled regardless of what site I can play it on) or whatever site that grabs your attention (Blogger!! lol). Point is it gets you into trouble... A lot of people tell me that they would LOVE my job because it has its highs and lows – busy times and slow times. Unfortunately, I like being busy more than NOT because it keeps my mind off the clock. I’ve had jobs to where there was never enough time in the day to get things done and now I’m at a place where the clock is so loud in my ear that I can hardly stand it!! TICK… TICK… TICK – and that’s just by 9:00 a.m.!!!

Same goes for boredom in relationships. When you are bored, you feel as though your spouse of significant other has forgotten all about you and has gone on with their life while you remain stagnant in yours. You spend all your time wanting and waiting to do things with them, while they have plans with everyone else BUT you!! Meanwhile, bad things can happen in that boredom... Things and people begin grabbing your attention that shouldn’t… Although couples have each other to prevent this, each individual person should have their own life outside of the other person to where some things are shared and some things are just for that person to focus on. It’s just so you don’t lose yourself in the process of enjoying the other person.

Has this happened to any of you? Any ideas to prevent this from happening to others who may be going through this? Of course I’m no stranger to this topic or I wouldn’t be writing about it. I’ve been so wrapped up in someone else that I’ve lost all the people around me. My friends and family noticed at the time, but I’m the only one who could have done something about it. I was sooo into someone that no one mattered to me but him while at the same time he was so busy seeing everyone else BUT me. I completely lost myself and the person that I was because my everything was focused on him. It’s very eye opening to see it now from this perspective… I wonder why I couldn’t see these things before…

She-Hulk

People ask me all the time if I would go back in time would I change anything. Undoubtedly the answer would be a resounding “YES” just like I’m sure everyone would change SOMETHING. Even one day, one hour, one decision… Something, I’m sure.

Don’t get me wrong, the majority of my life has been hard, but there are several things I would leave exactly as they are – exactly as they happened. My high school years were the best time of my life and would remain unchanged EXCEPT for getting the chicken pox in my sophomore year! Those were horrible!! (I guess it is true that the older you are when you get them the worse they are!) See? I would even change something about those years.

Is it true that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger? If so, I’m damn near She-Hulk!! (Am I showing my age here?!) Although times have been hard, there are people out there who’s situations are a lot worse than mine, just as my situations are worse than someone else’s. Our situations are based largely on decisions that we’ve made for ourselves. Yes, while we are young there are things that happen to us that are out of our control; however when we grow to be adults, those things can either make us or break us and we become responsible for our own decisions. It kills me when people blame their childhood for bad decisions they’ve made as adults. People (generally speaking) know the difference from right and wrong, don’t we??

Problems with Men and Women

Something interesting I heard today, “Men aren’t as strong mentally as men of old. Men today need to be catered to, are selfish and less appreciative than ever before.” Unfortunately, I agree with this entire statement and would you believe that it was made by a man?! The funny thing is that us women knew this the entire time, but it kills me that men agree with us and don’t do anything about it to change the pitiful outlook that some sorry fellas have casted against the whole lot. Okay, okay… Maybe not the whole lot, but it is a large number of ‘em then… Is that better? To tell you the truth I don’t know why I’m surprised in the least. People know when they are making bad decisions; they just don’t care enough to make the right ones instead.

I know you’ve heard the statistic that over 50% of marriages end in divorce. We all know this yet and still we get married knowing the odds are against us… Why? Do we think going into it that we are different than the millions of others who have tried before us? Do we feel our love is somehow stronger or more special than everyone else’s? Or do we just want to feel loved and appreciated by someone? Someone who is saying to God and all others that you are their special someone? Why do we need this? How many times have you heard couples say that things were better BEFORE they were married? What changes after the “I do’s”?

I’m not sure who can answer these questions but it certainly feels better asking them. I know I’m the wrong one to try and solve these dilemmas because I have no answers myself to my own issues and concerns. But if the first paragraph is TRUE then at least we know where we can begin.

“Tiki, here you go ‘men bashing’!” Probably so, maybe I am. I began this post with something I heard by a MAN remember… We women have our own issues. Okay, will it make you feel better if I mention some of them too? Women: cater to their men instead of themselves; expect to be taken care of instead of taking care of themselves, instead of getting a man their equal will settle for ANY man... Of course men and women have many issues, some of which I am guilty of myself… The thing is if you recognize issues in yourself and strive to better yourself, then you are ahead of those who have issues, recognize them and do nothing!

Potpourri III

Sometimes I just sit down and begin to type and let the monitor/keyboard take me where it leads me. I usually don’t have to think of things to write about… Either the news will show me the way or something in either my life or a friend’s life will direct me. Lately though, I’ve been having issues and I’m not sure if my situation is causing the block or what. (Maybe I should call it a “pause” instead of a “block”; that way it won’t seem as long.)

News has just been news, but the weather has been something else!! (My thoughts go out to those in GA where the flooding has been out of control.) Everyone has been talking about how we have needed rain and now see what happens… A lot of a good thing can also be disastrous regardless of what it is.

Plaxico in jail for 2 years for bringing a weapon to a night club and shooting HIMSELF in the leg... I’ve written about this before but since he is now serving his jail time, it still seems harsh to me... Maybe just a little… Yes, of course I realize that it wasn’t a smart thing to do, but at the same time he didn’t hurt anyone but himself, although drinks and weaponry combined is never a smart thing. He proved that didn’t he??

Racist acts – a daily event in the news… Finally, the swim club in Philly has been penalized for not allowing the day care center which has a majority of black children to swim in their pool. Of all 179 members in their club not one is an African American or even a minority for that matter.

President Obama has been on every channel and show, day or night talking about his health care fight… Continue to fight the good fight, Obama… Whether you agree with him or not, you have to agree with the fact that at LEAST he is trying to look out for the people who are having problems looking after themselves… Nothing at all wrong with that.

See? I never know what road I’m going to go down when I begin the trip. I just know wherever it leads me is where I am…

Writer's Block

I haven’t had writer’s block in a while and I guess I’m having it now… Even with so much going on in my life at this time, it’s really nothing to write about. I’m not sure it’s information that I would want “outsiders” to know… Not that I’m nervous about being judged, but because although I am quite an open book, I’m not sure I want to be THAT open…

Tiki, we are here for you and to those people who have told me that I say “Thank You”. The only way people can help you with your problems is if you allow them IN to be able help you. Everyone doesn’t need to know the particulars; they just need to know that you need them to listen to you even if it’s just for a few minutes… Everyone needs to feel needed in one way or another whether they truly are needed or not…

I guess I didn’t have writer’s block after all… lol

September 11, 2001

This was written a couple of years ago... Thought it fitting to post here... This day...

Do you remember where you were then? I do, and I'll never forget it for the rest of my days...

I was sitting at work at Austin Community College at the front desk across from the Student Lounge. It has since been revamped and things moved around, but that day is clear in my mind. The office was empty at the time and I was there, bored out of my mind and just sitting there watching all of the students in the lounge. Something grabbed my attention, though. The TV in the lounge was on and it hardly ever was especially that early in the morning. The volume was off until someone decided to cut it on as well. All heads were cocked up toward the screen. Some people were crying others had there hands covering their mouths and a lot of people were standing around all peering at the screen. I then moved from my desk to the hallway so that I could see the TV better and then more people started coming out of the offices. As I looked on the screen, they began showing a playback of what happened and it was the first plane hitting the tower! We couldn't believe it! At first I thought that it was a horrible accident and I immediately began to cry. As I stood there watching the screen seeing the smoke bellow out of the building, the second plane hit and I knew precisely then what was going on. My co-worker Olga at the time, was overwhelmed with emotion. I remember how hard she was crying and I tried to comfort her, but it's even harder to comfort someone when you are equally overcome with emotion yourself. As the news spread throughout the building, employees began to call their loved ones who live in New York to check on them and two people, in particular, were petrified. Both of their spouses were in New York on business and were supposed to be on a plane that morning and in the area of the World Trade Center. I remember their panicked faces as they tried to phone them, but to no avail. The phone lines that morning were tremendously busy! No calls were making it out to that area. Soon, all of us were in the Student Lounge watching the screen. I don't believe any work or anything was accomplished that day.

At home, that night was horrible. The TV stations played the crashes over and over and it was on every network. But one thing in particular grabbed a hold of me. It was a documentary of a guy who was a firefighter in New York. All footage was being taped live as it happened. The scene when the first plane hit and the firefighters were on the way into the building and the sound of the jumpers hitting the ground. In the movie he says, "We all heard it. That sound. No one said a word. You can't describe it. Upon hearing it, you know exactly what it is. You know how bad it is up there if people would rather jump to their deaths than burn to death in the building." I'll never forget that sound or those words for the rest of my life. I've watched the airing of that show every year since 9/11.

One thing that I remember proudly, was the outpouring of TOGETHERNESS that was shown throughout the country after this happened. It has slowly faded away since. EVERYONE either had a flag at their house, on their clothes even on their car. We were one country and it was beautiful! We need to get that feeling back that we all had after this horrible event happened. We all shared in the tragedy, the grief and in the sorrow. We were one, one country truly indivisible.

The lives of the people who perished that day should be remembered, forever.

Obama's Healthcare Address

Potpourri II

I looked below at my last post and discovered that it’s been two weeks since my last post and decided that it’s high time I get busy!! Yes, I’ve been busy, moving and adjusting to a new place but I meant busy writing… I’ve found that it is one of the things that truly calm me and allows my mind to escape the hell otherwise known as my life.

Everything in my life is NOT by any means hell per se... My children are truly blessings although they can push a sistahs buttons without even trying. I know I over react sometimes and that is an ongoing project that I will continue to try and maintain. But my children are the reason I exist; they bring a smile to my face when they don’t even know I’m watching them… I love the moments when they are giggling together or singing in the mirror together – dancing and enjoying themselves as I stand off in the distance watching them from around the corner… They are the reasons I do what I do, work where I work, live where I live, and smile when I smile. They are my life’s joys.

I wish I had them closer together meaning, not a six year gap between their ages, but I had them and they were/are healthy children. They are helpful, they are kind, fun loving, energetic children with their whole lives ahead of them and they are my motivation. I want them, when they are grown, to be able to look at me and be proud and know that everything I did, I did for them and their happiness whether it is something they can see now or won’t realize until then. Either way, their opinions of me are the only two that truly matter besides how I view myself.

How I view myself varies from time to time. I can be very meek when it comes to some people and be a total biatch to others. I can be very strong minded and strong willed to humble and modest. I guess you never know what you are going to get (which is why I’m so damn exciting to be around lol). But as far as my children are concerned, I am loving yet protective and to me that is how I should be. You never realize how strong you are until you have to make a choice that is not an easy one to make. There is usually an internal and external battle going on with tough decisions. You have to know in your heart and mind that the decisions you make whether they be small or large ones affect more than just you which is why each choice needs to be well thought out prior to making it. The people around you who matter will be there for you to support you through these times.

I know this post is all over the place… I guess that is what happens when you wait two weeks before posting something. Hopefully it won’t be that long of a wait next time. For those of you checking everyday waiting for something to read: here it is!! For those of you who haven’t been checking, why not??

Aaliyah (1979-2001) I LOVED HER and STILL DO!!

It's been 8 years ago today... R.I.P. beautiful soul...

Time

Another summer vacation for the kids has come to an end. It seems like it’s flyin’ by faster and faster. Time seems to fly whether you are having fun or not… Each moment, each minute is so very precious. Our time here is not known from one moment to the next. There are not too many things that are constant in this world… Time tickin’ by slowly but surely is, however, one of them.

If You Were In a Bar Fight...

I was listening to the radio the other morning on my way into work and they asked the question: If you were in a bar fight, which 3 stars would you want helping you? The answers were really funny too!! One guy said he would bring in George Bush because since he did such a great job F'ing up the country then he would easily win in a bar fight! Funny, right?! (Well to some of us that is...) Anywho, my three choices are below. I'm going with all ladies on this one!! Hey, we can put it down!! Who would you like on your team and why?

Angelina Jolie - Lara Croft

Uma Thurman - Kill Bill

Linda Hamilton - Sarah Connor - Terminator

WHY??

Why are the views of other people more important to us than how we see ourselves??

Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why do some people love other people in their lives MORE than they love themselves?

Why does your doctor make you change out of your clothes, then tells you to put on a robe just to move the robe out of the way to see your naked body anyway?

Why are the nice people the hurt ones while the ones who treat others like garbage are the most carefree folks you’ll ever meet?

Why do we press the “Start” button to cut off the computer?

Why are families so hard to keep together but people have friendships from childhood that last “until death do they part”?

Why is there a light in the refrigerator and NOT the freezer?

Why is it easier to find fault in others than seeing fault in yourself?

Brandy - "2nd Thought" Lyrics

I've said it before, sometimes music has a way of saying things better than we ever could and this song is no exception. I'm probably one of the few fans Brandy Norwood has left, but that's fine, her music always hits home for me... She's always right on time regardless of when she arrives!!

Ain't it funny how

Ain't it funny how things always come right back around

How the tables turn

With a little time the ones was up will soon be down

Got me thinking bout

What is was that made me think that you were all so great

Had me sitting round

Tryna figure out what you thought was so wrong with me

You treated me like I wasn't open

Thought you were something

You made it seem like Rocka wasn't that thing

Now you calling again and I was thinking

You almost had me for a minute but I

On 2nd Thought I'm alright

Don't hate me cause I changed my mind

I thought that I wasn't working

Now look who's hurting for a chance to be with me

On 2nd Thought don't drop by

I think it'd be a waste of time

Remember you wasn't digging it

Now you so into it on 2nd Thought I'll say goodbye

(Bye, bye, bye, goodbye, bye, bye, bye)

If back then was now

Probably would have said thank you lord for sending him to me

But I found out

That it was better to be hurt back then cause now it strengthens me

So now when you bounce

It was because I put you out not you just leaving me

And you’re back around

Is it because I won't start giving that you’re struggling

You treated me like

You treated me like I wasn't nothing

Thought you were something

You made it seem like Rocka wasn't that thing

Now you calling again and I was thinking

You almost had me fooled for a minute but on 2nd Thought

On 2nd Thought I'm alright

Don't hate me cause I changed my mind

I thought that I wasn't working

Now look who's hurting for a chance to be with me

On 2nd Thought don't drop by

I think it'd be a waste of time

Remember you wasn't digging it

Now you so into it on 2nd Thought I'll say goodbye

(Bye, bye, bye, goodbye, bye, bye, bye)

I could never

Let you back into my life

I would never turn back the hands of time

Some things are meant to just fade away

There's no way you

Could ever change everything you done

Wouldn't matter to me cause I moved on

Now I would see something better

In mind, You don't…

On 2nd Thought I'm alright

Don't hate me cause I changed my mind

I thought that I wasn't working

Now look who's hurting for a chance to be with me

On 2nd Thought don't drop by

I think it'd be a waste of time

Remember you wasn't digging it

Now you so into it on 2nd Thought I'll say goodbye

It didn't have to be this way but

You could have had me anyway but

You chose to do it don't know what led you to it

Now you hurting without me (yeah, yeah)

Should have did me right before now I don't need you no more

Marble and Mayan - 2 yr old Cats - Need Home...

"Life is Not a Race"

My friend sent me this and I thought it was AMAZING!! Thanks Naomi!!

Too many people put off something that brings them joy just because they haven't thought about it, don't have it on their schedule, didn't know it was coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine.

I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night in an effort to cut back. From then on, I've tried to be a little more flexible.

How many women out there will eat at home because their husband didn't suggest going out to dinner until after something had been thawed? Does the word 'refrigeration' mean nothing to you?

How often have your kids dropped in to talk and sat in silence while you watched 'Jeopardy' on television?

I cannot count the times I called my sister and said, 'How about going to lunch in a half hour?' She would gas up and stammer, 'I can't. I have clothes on the line. My hair is dirty. I wish I had known yesterday, I had a late breakfast, It looks like rain.' And my personal favorite: 'It's Monday.' She died a few years ago. We never did have lunch together.

Because Americans cram so much into their lives, we tend to schedule our headaches. We live on a sparse diet of promises we make to ourselves when all the conditions are perfect!

We'll go back and visit the grandparents when we get Steve toilet-trained. We'll entertain when we replace the living-room carpet... We'll go on a second honeymoon when we get two more kids out of college.

Life has a way of accelerating as we get older. The days get shorter, and the list of promises to ourselves gets longer. One morning, we awaken, and all we have to show for our lives is a litany of 'I'm going to,' 'I plan on,' and 'Someday, when things are settled down a bit.'

When anyone calls my 'seize the moment' friend, she is open to adventure and available for trips. She keeps an open mind on new ideas. Her enthusiasm for life is contagious. You talk with her for five minutes, and you're ready to trade your bad feet for a pair of Roller blades and skip an elevator for a bungee cord..

My lips have not touched ice cream in 10 years. I love ice cream. It's just that I might as well apply it directly to my stomach with a spatula and eliminate the digestive process. The other day, I stopped the car and bought a triple-decker. If my car had hit an iceberg on the way home, I would have died happy.

Now..go on and have a nice day. Do something you WANT to . . . . . . not something on your SHOULD DO list. If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?

Have you ever watched kids playing on a merry go round or listened to the rain lapping on the ground? Ever followed a butter fly's erratic flight or gazed at the sun into the fading night? Do you run through each day on the fly? When you ask ' How are you?' Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done, do you lie in your bed with the next hundred chores running through your head? Ever told your child, 'We'll do it tomorrow .' And in your haste, not see his sorrow? Ever lost touch? Let a good friendship die? Just call to say 'Hi?

When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like an unopened gift....Thrown away ..... Life is not a race. Take it slower. Hear the music before the song is over.

Vick Signed to Eagles

For all of you who didn't think Michael Vick would be signed to a new team in the NFL... Here's what he says to you:

Get 'em Vick!! LOL!! Sorry McNabb, but after 11 years, it's time...

Tragedy or Murder??

Child found dead in vehicle in Freescale parking lot Police do not suspect foul play and are calling the boy's death a 'tragedy.' By Andrea Lorenz

AMERICAN-STATESMAN STAFF

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Austin police were investigating the death of a child found in a parked vehicle Wednesday at Freescale Semiconductor on West Parmer Lane.

Someone saw the child in the vehicle, which was parked in Freescale's north parking lot, and called 911 at 4:22 p.m., officer Dennis Farris said.

Police said the child was an Asian boy under 5 years old. Farris did not give the child's exact age. He said homicide detectives are investigating, but no charges have been filed and they don't suspect foul play. An autopsy has been ordered, he said.

"It's just a tragedy at this point," Farris said.

Farris said one of the child's parents left the child in the vehicle, and police are questioning both parents.

Police did not know how long the child was left in the vehicle, "but it was an extended period of time," Farris said.

The temperature in Austin on Wednesday reached 102 degrees.

Farris said there is a child care center at the complex, but he didn't know whether the child attended the center or whether either parent was a Freescale employee.

Don't suspect foul play? Is that what I read above? How could this not be foul play? I've seen people on talk shows who said that it was an accident that they left their child in a child on "accident". How does that happen? One lady in particular claimed that her schedule was routine - she did things the same way EVERY DAY. Her husband usually took the children to school but this day she had to take her youngest to daycare.. For some reason, after leaving the house, she followed her normal course without even thinking/remembering that her kid was in the back seat. She got out the car, locked it and went in to work.. After returning to her car after her shift was over, she then "noticed" her child - dead in the back seat.. WTF? Since this day was out of the ordinary, wouldn't you think that special attention would have been paid to the less than routine day? I don't know how folks minds works these days...

If nothing else counts as "foul play" shouldn't the fact that neither of the parents of this 5 year old boy in the story above work for the company where the child was found? Although it says that there was a daycare IN the company, it probabbly doesn't make it any cheaper to have your children there. (On a side note, I believe more companys should have daycare options available for their employees. Anywho...)

The story also said that it was a steamy 102 outside yesterday!! It fails to mention how hot the inside of the car was when the boy was found. It wouldn't surprise me if it was above 120 in there. That in itself, to me, is foul play...

I know, I know... Someone reading this is either going to say or is thinking "I leave my kids in the car all the time to just run into a store." That situation is not what we are talking about here, although since the point is raised might as well discuss it.. lol... I disagree with that too. There are sooo many different things that could happen in JUST AN INSTANT. So many variables: air condition on or off, car running or not, automatic locks or not, age of children, located in a "good" part of town or not, type of car, etc... It just shouldn't be done. It will be better for you, the environment and your children to NOT leave the car running at all, let alone leaving your children unattended in a car for any period of time.

Teenager’s Dad Kills Her, Foster Dad, Shoots Foster Mom, Kills Himself

Christopher Milburn, 34, killed the 15-year-old, her foster father (Todd Randolph) and wounded her foster mother (Susan Randolph) before taking his own life Sunday. Milburn worked as a counselor at the McDowell Center for Children, which helps at-risk and troubled children. The father was friends with the foster father and had worked for him in the past. Susan has been released from a Memphis hospital on Monday. The Randolph’s have two children who were at their grandparents’ house during the time of the shootings.

The question becomes, if the child had indeed been abused by the father and even if she hadn’t, why place the child in a foster home just a few doors down from where she lived? The fact that the killer was a counselor for at-risk children and then to do this to his own child is just pitiful… What is this world coming to?