Potpourri VI

Well, it's been awhile since I've written in here and quite frankly I guess I needed the break.. I've been through things and YES I know everyone does, but those things that matter to you ONLY MATTER TO YOU when it's happening TO YOU so excuse me while I don't make excuses for being away..  Things seem to happen to us all while we feel we are down and I'm not alone in my thoughts, I'm sure...  I'm just different from most because I happen to be able to place my thoughts into words easily.. Although sometimes when this happens, I tend to voice those feelings where and when I shouldn't but TRUST me when I say it's all from love..  


Since I've last been here, I've found a church home!  I've needed to do this as some of you know and some of you have as well and I feel that was HIGHLY IMPORTANT for me to do.. I had to re-gain focus in my life and a church home was very much missing.  Dreams sometimes happen to us to help guide us in the direction we need to go in and as I've written before, I KNOW that was the purpose of that dream that MOVED ME...  My girls' and I LOVE our church and I'm glad and oh so thankful that they love us too!


Relationship wise, I've lost some folks that were close to me and have gotten closer to some who were NOT so close to me.. I've removed people who were causing nothing but drama and I will probably lose more. "Such is LIFE!"  Keeping salty folks in your life only seems to spread into other areas that are SALT FREE and really, who needs that?


My oldest graduated from high school which was AWESOME and started college!  I'm proud of my girl!  She put in the hard work and made it through! I love you Babygirl!! My youngest is now a 7th Grader!! Wow, where does this time go?!  Good job Momma's Baby!!  


Yesterday was pretty hard for me.. It would've been my 20th anniversary... Among the tears I shed, I could tell I was growing and regardless of how or what I need to do to get where I'm trying to be, I'm not scared of doing what I need to do in order to get there!  Today is the 2 year anniversary of my divorce.. I can tell you, I've come a loooonngg way and I'm proud of every step!  


The world does not revolve around me, nor did I ever think it did, BUT my world DID revolve around certain things and certain people.. It's great to know, that in my growth, my eyes have been opened to see, that my focus has changed, my world around me is changing, and I am forever Evolving!!

Hopeless...

Hopeless Romantics,

fall for hopeful semantics

Ready and willing

For all and any

Attention of few

Or attention of many

Whoever will spend time,

Or dinner with wine.

For a seat at the table

For anyone who is able

And those who’re available

Will use this against them

Although no ill intention..

Should walls be placed high?

To keep feelings aside?

Or let everyone come in

And keep feelings within?

One day time will tell

Until then… We fail…

Dreams Teach.. Listen to Them...

I rarely dream, or at least I rarely remember what I dream but this morning I awoke with a revelation and with tears streaming down my face. It appears that I was in New York or some place with mountainous buildings as far as I could view with all of them extrememly close together. I, along with countless others were "building jumping" atop them. It's like a camera zoomed in from the cement sidewalk to me on the rooftop. I was surrounded by 30 or so folks all doing as I am, "building jumping", all with somewhere to go. Except me. I had the feeling that I had no where to go to exactly, but yet there I was with everyone else. I come to a halt on top of a building that was almost the same width as me. When I made the successful leap, I sat down and refused to go any further. The folks behind me made no attempt to change my mind of the fact that I decided to sit instead of continuing on, they just went another route and continued on their way. One gentleman in particular decided to stop and talk to me and tried unsuccessfully for quite awhile. I was impressed by him. He never ceased in his motivation. A woman also stopped, she I recognized as someone I went to high school with. (I can't recall her name but when I see her again, I'm sure I'll weep.) When I saw her familiar face, I began to cry and she asked me, "Tiki, why won't you jump? You came this far?" I said, "I'm scared, what if I fall?" She said, "What IF you fall? What would happen?" I then exclaimed, "I would DIE!" She then explained, "Ok, and what if you died? Wouldn't you be with God? Isn't that where we all WANT to be?" as she opened her arms and pointed to all those folks around me. I WOKE UP, LITERALLY AND SPIRITUALLY this morning!